I've never put much store in those tests that tell you whether you're an introvert or an extrovert or a Type A, B, Z personality. We're all a little bit of all of it at different times and places. Sometimes I'm shy - YES, seriously. But if I push past it - I can be the life of the party. Inside, I'm just not sure why all the cool kids hang out with me sometimes. But I'm glad you all do!
This has been a hell of a week. Maybe a little longer than a week - but it's been exhausting and emotional and trying. And part of it was this Type-whatever I am that makes me unable to ask for help until I'm about to snap. Whatever that is - I'd like to lose some of it. I just want to keep up this smoke and mirror that makes people think I'm super capable and infallible. I fear I may have oversold my product...
I'm not invincible. Not infallible.
I've taken on too much and forgotten to take care of me.
But today I was reminded that I don't have to carry everybody's loads. I need to trust people to carry their load and ask for help with it when they need it. Sometimes I find myself more invested in a person's life-load than they are. I've got to step back and let them deal with "their stuff" in their way. And be able to offer connections to resources but giving them the dignity to move forward under their own steam.
So - I've been trying to juggle a lot of people's worries and situations and concerns. I'm going to start handing them back. But with the understanding that I'm offering support, but not able to make the choices for them. Grownups got to deal with their drama, not spread it around, eh?
So...I'm taking a deep breath. Trying to regain balance again.
Reminds me of a post...about the last change in season.
I'm ready to embrace the sun.
this winter has been...too long...
feeling like a Sleestack
sorry, this was getting too serious. Go to bed hamster, you're tired..