The Incomparable Max Meador

On Friday, August 5 the Kiwanis Club of Lynchburg will host their 1st Annual Max Meador Shrimpfest on the campus of VES. It's an exciting endeavor and a lot of work - we are scrambling to make sure everything is in place for the event. In the midst of juggling ticket sales and social media and signage - I ran across a picture that one of our members sent me of Max. And I felt like spending a few minutes reflecting on the person that we are remembering as part of this Friday's festivities.

You see, I only knew Max as a Kiwanian. I was part of a group brought into the club about five years ago and Max was one of those who warmly welcomed me. He was one of the first to greet me at meetings and once I started editing the club's e-newsletter, Max went out of his way to compliment every issue (even the ones that weren't my best work). I knew him as a friendly and pleasant man. But I didn't know the whole story.


When my nephew was getting ready to start school at Hampden-Sydney College in Farmville - I found out that Max was an alumni (I knew several of the club members were - but somehow had missed the fact that he was). Class of 1958 - he fell in love with Latin and earned his Masters degree. He and I probably would not have bonded over a love of Latin. Although I took Latin for three years in the Amherst County school system - I barely made it out of Latin III with a D. I remember one phrase: Agricola est puer - which I believe translates to "the farmer is a boy" or "the boy is a farmer." And I can conjugate the verb Amo (amo, amas, amat, amamus, amatus, amant). But we certainly did share a love for words and language and proper grammar.


When the club lost Max on December 22, 2015 I learned a lot about his life from his obituary and the VES community. I learned he was "VES' beloved faculty advisor, senior master, Latin teacher, baseball coach, and administrator for 43 years." Baseball coach?

Yes, a whole new layer of Max that I didn't know. And that is an area that I heard about recently from a lovely lady who called me to get tickets to Shrimpfest. She told me all about how her daughter had served as an assistant coach to Max because she couldn't play due to an injury. The doctors had warned her that any more competitive sports and they wouldn't be able to do any more for her knee. She told me about how working with Max had been so rewarding for her daughter. You could hear the love and admiration in her voice.

I get that - being around Max Meador you always felt like the most important person in the room. He made you feel like a visiting dignitary or Rhodes scholar. He just had that way about him. I miss that. And when we recite our guiding statement at the beginning of each club meeting: "Kiwanis is a global organization of volunteers, dedicated to improving the world, one child and one community at a time." I say (along with a few other stalwart fans), "So help me Max." (Something a member started long ago, which always made Max chuckle.)

And I smile...and remember...and smile again.

Unclenching

I have been feeling like an overwound watch. (for those of you who don't know what winding a watch means - go tomorrow and purchase a pocket watch that you have to wind or some sort of classic Timex. It does you good to have to tend to something every day.)

So...I've been feeling off center. Just edging toward overwhelmed.

It happens.

So, recognizing this, I've been trying to take deep breaths and look at the night sky and remind myself that I am not responsible for the spinning of the world. Because I have this tendency to give myself that much power. Only...I know that I suck at it and then I get all...verclempt?

So - today I took a step toward unclenching my soul. I spent several hours in the company of my talented and brilliant youngest sister and the brilliant wonder twins.

They are 8. And they are kind, funny, happy, intelligent, curious, patient, loving, goofy, looney beings. We met for lunch - Yellow Sub. Always a great choice - good sandwich, patrons not too disturbed by a slightly raucous table. We tip well. There were tater tots covered in cheese and bacon. The wonder twins arrived and the world lit up.

They smile when they see me. And I feel worthy - and the soul stretches a little. Just testing the waters. Still wary - someone will realize that I'm imperfect.

I get to be the center of the world! Each of them leaning in close to show me something in a game on a phone or to ask me a question. I feel like a genius, firing off answers to questions like Ken Whatizname on Jeopardy. The loon on my left has fairly attached herself to my arm. She couldn't be closer - adoring her cool and excellent aunt.

Perhaps, I am worthy?

And the hour in the park looking for four leaf clovers (eagle eyed sister found one!) and watching stick boats race in the creek - just hanging out and watching the group with men in suits (and wondering...why?). Topped off by wild adventure!

They rode to my house in my car so their mom could run by the grocery store. Passengers! In MY car? So they got to ride with an 80 pound bag of shredding between them. Laughing and making arm airplanes out the window. Stuffed bear Rufus contemplating a flight out the window. He thought the better of it.

Girl sitting on my lap threatening to lick my face. Riotous laughter.

Boy riding scooter and two bikes in various states of disrepair down the hill.

Climbing and pulling and pushing and laughing and ah....

I feel myself drifting back to the balance point. Knowing that I don't have to be in charge of it ALL. And cutting myself some slack.

The soul is starting to unclench. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat as needed.

And the soul felt its worth

well...it's been awhile. about a year and a week. it was a pretty intense year in a lot of ways - good and bad. I've had some adventures and some personal growth, I'll tell you some stories at another time. Remind me, if I don't remember - cruise tales, sermons and deep thoughts, silliness, strange dreams (most recently, a chocolate chip cookie bake off with my sister Susan while Denise was trying to have me cook dinner. Chicken and broccoli. Which clearly has some deeper connotations...but I digress.)

What I have been marinating on over the last few days is the Christmas carol O Holy Night. I delivered the message at Cove UMC in Coleman Falls on December 27. I've spoken there many times and I love that group of people. They accomplish the task of being a church so very well...they just love so well. It is a small congregation but they watch out for each other and reach out into the community with an open heart. They are so welcoming.

So, this message that I delivered was based around the lines from the carol "Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He appeared and the soul felt its worth..." I'll put the whole text on a post for anyone who wants to read it - here.

I think that Father Greg Boyle said it best in his book Tattoos On the Heart: "how is it not the job description of human beings seeking kinship? It's about appearing...remembering we belong to one another, and letting souls feel their worth.

But here's the twist - I went there expecting to deliver a message: that we have the opportunity every day to help souls feel their worth. And I hope to embody that message. I don't do it perfectly, but I'm going to keep trying to help everyone I encounter know that they are worthy of my attention and respect and understanding. Let's all get on board with that...

But the twist? I got so much more from that interaction than I gave.

These wonderful people showed me - and my soul felt its worth. They hugged me and said that my message had touched them...or my (tentative and congregation-supported) acapella singing of O Holy Night at the message conclusion was appreciated. And I remembered something...hey, God loves me too. And a beautiful little lady had brought me cookies because she knew I was coming.

And my soul felt its worth.

It has been ... and to some degree continues to be ... a bit of a pressure cooker. But to all of you - yes, you who help show me my worth - thanks.

I'll stop by more often. Till then, some of the old stuff is still good - post a link to your favorite post in the comments.

December 27, 2015 message

Colossians 3:12-17New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)12 As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 13 Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

The weather this week has not been exactly conducive to gazing at the night sky...but one of my very favorite moments of the past few days was as I was leaving my house on Christmas Eve to head to Centenary for the evening service. I was running late and was still in the “harried and hassled” mode of Christmas Eve. As I was leaving the house, I happened to glance up at the sky...and I could see, through the cloud cover, the moon. My breath caught in my throat and I stared at the night sky...and it brought my impatience and hectic pace to an abrupt stop. I let go of the to-do list and took a full minute to stare into the sky and just be.

It reminded me of my favorite Christmas carol - "O Holy Night." This well-known carol was composed by Adolphe Adam in 1847 to the French poem "Minuit, chrétiens" (Midnight, Christians) by a wine merchant and poet, Placide Cappeau. In Roquemaure, the church organ was recently renovated. To celebrate the event, the parish priest asked Cappeau, to write a Christmas poem. Cappeau did it, although being a professed anticlerical and atheist. Soon after, Adam wrote the music. On Christmas Eve, at Midnight Mass, in an obscure French village...a choir celebrated Jesus' birth with O Holy Night.

Most didn’t think much of the song when it was written. Not because the song itself was without merit but because they didn’t much appreciate its author. Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure was a poet commissioned by a French Bishop. He was considered by many to be less-than-worthy of such a task. Some considered him profane – others thought of him as a trouble maker at best. He was indeed a social radical; known for his opposition to things like injustice, inequality, and oppression. He tended to be out spoken.

Adams, the one who wrote the music to the song, was just as unqualified … he was, after all, a Jew! When the Church Leaders in France learned these facts, they officially banned the song as “unfit for church services.” But it was too late! O Holy Night had already become one of the most beloved Christmas songs in France --- and no matter what the Church Leaders decreed --- the French people kept singing it. You see, even though the composers may not have believed what they wrote, they had produced a masterpiece that was true to the Gospel message.

In spite of the criticism of some, the song struck a nerve with the masses. It spoke to them. From the first verse:O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,It is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth.Long lay the world in sin and error pining.Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn ….

Here we see the birth of Christ from a Heavenly viewpoint … a birth that awakened the whole world … a birth that brought a new and glorious morn to everyone on earth.

The Nativity story teaches us to reflect not only on the birth of Jesus, but its universal message of peace and goodwill. The story begins with a census. All citizens, by order of Caesar Augustus, went to be registered in their place of family origin. Mary and Joseph traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem because of the census. Jesus was born in a cave stable set aside for shepherds’ flocks in time of storm. In a place of abandonment, Jesus was laid in a manger on this particular night, since there was no room for them at the inn. The story goes on to reveal that on this night, shepherds guarded their sheep in the fields and angels appeared to announce the birth of the new born king. Later on, perhaps weeks after, wise men appeared bearing gifts fit for a king. Finally, the young family fled into Egypt because King Herod sought the child to kill him after being informed of the birth.

At the heart of this story, as it unfolds in the cave stable, is the birth of a higher expression of love that had not been expressed up unto that point in time. That love brought to fulfillment in Jesus manifested itself as selfless love.

Father Greg Boyle, author of Tattoos on the Heart gives an interesting perspective to O Holy Night, (I read from the chapter in his book titled simply “Kinship”): “I grew up in an old large house. My five sisters and two brothers and I were told never to go to the attic. This is all we needed to hear. Before long, we were selling tickets to the attic. On one of our forays there, navigating the uncertain planks that kept you from falling through the ceiling below (I guess that explains my mom's prohibition), we found a box of old record albums. One thick, red-clay recording was labeled “O Holy Night – Kathleen Conway” (Conway was my mother's maiden name). We hurried downstairs, placed the record on our toy phonograph and encircled the speakers, lying on our stomachs, fists propping up our attentive heads. A glorious, though timeworn and scratchy voice came through the speakers. Our mom, it turns out, before she decided to have eight kids, was an opera singer. We could barely fathom that the voice that hollered at us to come to dinner belonged to this magic emerging from our toy phonograph. We played the grooves off of this record. Consequently, a line from the song found itself permanently etched in my brain – a mantra of sorts: “long lay the world in sin and error pining - 'til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.” Sure, it is a song about Jesus and Christmas, but how is it not the job description of human beings seeking kinship? It's about appearing,” remembering that we belong to one another, and letting souls feel their worth.

The scripture from Colossians that I read a few minutes ago speaks to this goal – Paul was writing to the church at Colossae from prison and he was concerned about reports that he had heard of them following false teachers. He wanted to bring them back to the basics. From The Message, verses 12-14 “So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”

Compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. The basics – treat all humans with compassion and kindness. Be humble. Be strong but not boastful. Forgive quickly – and completely. But above all – Love. Let the souls feel their worth...because in this world, it is easy for people to feel devalued. To feel unworthy. To feel unloved and forgotten. To not be sure if God loves them. To not be sure if God loves us.

In his book, Father Greg tells about a homie named Bandit who came to Homeboy Industries after a lot of time “being at home in all things illegal.” He finally decided he was “tired of being tired” and left his old ways behind. The job developers located an entry level job – unskilled and low-paying, a first job. Fast forward 15 years and G got a phone call from Bandit, “G, ya gotta bless my daughter.” “Is she okay?” Father Greg asked. “Is she sick or in the hospital?” No, Bandit told him...Carolina was headed to college. The first in his family...and he was hoping that G could offer a send-off benediction. Bandit, his wife and three kids all arrive and the young Carolina is encircled and blessed. Not a dry eye in the office. In his own words, “I'm not entirely sure why we're all crying, except, I suppose for the fact that Bandit and his wife don't know anybody who has gone to college – except, I guess, me. Certainly no one in either one of their families. So we end the prayer and we laugh at how mushy we all just got. Wiping our tears, I turn to Carolina and ask, “So, what are you going to study at Humbolt?” She says, without missing a beat, “Forensic psychology.” Bandit chimes in, “Yeah, she wants to study the criminal mind.” after a few beats he says, “Yeah, I'm gonna be her first subject!” They walk out to the car together and as everyone piles in, Pastor G says to Bandit, “Can I tell you something, dog?” “I give you credit for the man you've chosen to become. I'm proud of you.” and Bandit answered, I'm proud of myself. All my life, people called me a lowlife, a bueno para nada. I guess I showed them.” I guess he did. And the soul feels its worth.

The message of Christmas remains as before, peace, love, and goodwill to all. This message of peace and love is timely for all ages and seasons. Without peace, there cannot be goodwill or love. Likewise, without love, there cannot be abiding peace. That love mentioned in the Bible is defined as loving your neighbor as well as yourself. Without this kind of compassionate love, there can be no harmony or peace that passes all understanding.

The poet Hafez wrote of this kinship in his poem With That Moon Language:“Admit something:Everyone you see, you say to them, “Love me”Of course you do not do this out loud;Otherwise, someone would call the cops.Still though, think about this,This great pull in us to connect.Why not become the oneWho lives with a full moon in each eyeThat is always sayingWith that sweet moon languageWhat every other eye in this worldIs dying toHear.

We are tasked with being that one – who, like Jesus, sees in every human they encounter...a child of God. A person who is worthy of love. One clothed in God's goodness. And we have the opportunity to show them their worth. Help them to come to know the truth about themselves and like what they find there.

The second stanza of O Holy Night:Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.O’er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,Now come the wise men from out of the Orient land.The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger;In all our trials born to be our friend …

A miracle of miracles. He was born to be our friend. He came down to Earth fully human. To connect to us on a whole new level. Christmas (the incarnation) is all about God disclosing to humankind what he is really like. The incarnation shows us what God is and what God’s priorities are … that is central to the Good News of Jesus Christ. John 1:14 says The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. Hebrews 1:3 says: The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being…

He chose willingly to come to Earth in such a humble way. Fully divine and yet fully human. The scripture from Luke that told of his pre-teen escapade in Jerusalem is one example of what a delicate balance it was – the divine vs. the human. God becoming flesh meant Jesus entered this debate as soon as he could (age 12 was often considered the age of adulthood in these cultures) and would redefine the interpretation of the Bible for his first disciples and generations of disciples to come. While Luke does not tell us the specifics of his questions and answers here, we get a good clue from his sermon at Nazareth: God is now bringing good news of deliverance especially to the poor, the enemy and the marginalized. And much like the poet who gave us O Holy Night, “He was considered by many to be less-than-worthy of such a task. Some considered him profane – others thought of him as a trouble maker at best. He was indeed a social radical; known for his opposition to things like injustice, inequality, and oppression. He tended to be out spoken.” I think that God is a big fan of irony.

The third verse begins:
Truly He taught us to love one another,His law is love and His gospel is peace.Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.And in his name all oppression shall cease.His law is love and His gospel is peace.Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.And in his name all oppression shall cease.His law is love and His gospel is peace.Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.And in his name all oppression shall cease.

Which brings us back to what Paul was saying to the church in Colossae: “Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. His law? Is love. His gospel? Peace. And if we keep these thoughts in the forefront of our lives, we'll be in tune with each other. Not just as church members or Christians, but as humans in our daily interactions with others. Let the Word of Christ have the run of the house. That word is love. We have the opportunity every day to show others that they have worth. That they are loved. Not when they pull their act together and behave the way we think they should... they are loved right now, just as they are. You are loved right now, just the way that you are. God loves you and wants you to know it with every fiber of your being. You concede “God loves us.” and yet there is this lurking sense that perhaps you aren't fully part of the “us.” The arms of God reach to embrace, and somehow you feel yourself just outside God's fingertips. You have no choice but to consider “God loves me,” yet you spend much of your life unable to shake off what feels like God only embracing you begrudgingly and reluctantly. “I suppose, if you insist, God has to love me too.” Experience the utter fullness of God. Completely know the One in whom “you move and live and have your being.” You will see then, that it has been God's JOY to love you all along. Then you won't be able to hold back. Then, as Paul wrote in Colossians: sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

One more story from Father Greg, “at 3 o'clock one morning, the phone rings. It's Cesar. He says what every homie says when they call in the middle of the night, “Did I wake you?” I always think, “why no, I was just waiting and hoping you'd call.” Cesar is sober and it's urgent he talk to me. “I gotta ask you a question. You know how I've always seen you as my father – ever since I was a little kid? Well, I hafta ask you a question.” Now Cesar pauses, and the gravity of it all makes his voice waver and crumble, “Have I...been...your son?” “oh hell yeah,” I say. “Whew,” Cesar exhales, “I thought so.” Now his voice becomes enmeshed in a cadence o
f gentle sobbing. “Then...I will be...your son. And you...will be my father. And nothing will separate us, right?” “That's right.” In this early morning call, Cesar did not discover he has a father, he discovered he was a son worth having.
And the soul feels its worth.

Reflections on the past 24 hours

These are mental snapshots of the last 24 hours. What a wonderful Christmas!

Misty evening.

Candles in worship.

Time of quiet.

Beautiful niece sitting beside me. Helping (?) me run sound board. Giggles. Rumpled hair. Beautiful dress. Smiling. Always smiling.

Holy communion. Silent night.

Driving through fog.

Passing site of accident.

Arriving at the White house (their name is white - but it is as grand as The White House all decorated for Christmas). Rejoicing. Stocking stuffing.

Writing cards to family.

Getting sleepy...look at time...2am?

Morning early! Must finish cards....must finish cards...

Coca-Cola.

Tater tot waffles. With cheddar. And chiffonade of proscuitto. Win.

Orange danish. With the bottoms cut off. Just like Mom used to make! :)

So much food. Cookies and sausage pinwheels and bacon pinwheels and sausage balls and ham and (whoo...we sure do seem to like our pork products...) oyster stew and fried oysters and monkey bread (with real monkey!) (just kidding). We had cheese ball and bacon wrapped little smokies and waffle quesadillas.

Wrapping paper.

Happy faces.

Boundless joy over 150 feet of bubble wrap. Aunt Chris gives the best gifts.

Patient Patrick and Saint Susan. Aunt Chris loves you!

Dimples.

Joy.

Incredible noise.

Chatter. Interruptions and fractured conversations. Happy anyway.

Heavy thoughts.

Quiet determination.

Feeling helpless to assist. Praying anyway.

Family together.

Christmas was perfect this year.

Verified and ready for deployment

Tonight at Sager Brown was the traditional Thursday night vesper service. It is an opportunity to reflect on the week's mission and ministry - and a chance to worship together with our new friends. I was honored to be the worship leader for the service led by various members of all the teams here. This afternoon I finally succumbed to a cluster headache that has been lurking for a couple of days - the medication made me groggy and a long nap made me feel like my brain and body were disconnected. As I sat waiting for the service to begin, I wondered if I would be able to make it through. I was swatting mosquitos (the state bird of Louisiana) and staring into space - then Geraldine began playing the piano and people around me were humming along.

A peace swept over me and I felt my spirit lift. Suddenly the headache and its lingering effects faded into the background. The service began and it fed my soul. As the congregation sang the hymns, I felt renewed. The worship team led in scripture, prayer and song - and then the congregation had an opportunity to share stories of experiences that blessed them this week.

We heard how individuals served by cleaning seniors' apartments and were blessed to hear about their lives. We heard how touched volunteers were by interactions with residents at the food distribution. One man told how people's faces lit up when they got to see the UMCOR Depot materials manager Freddie and hear his hearty greeting. Freddie is a big guy with a heart to match. Whether he is riding around on his forklift moving materials or stopping to give fellow staff member Rolanda a good natured ribbing - you can feel the love oozing out of every pore. Freddie is someone you just want to wrap up and ship home with you. But you'd need a big crate.

As the vesper service entered the sacred time of celebrating the Lord's Supper - the congregation sang a hymn that is fairly new (anything past 1970 is considered new in the Methodist church!) - One Bread, One Body. The lyrics to the refrain are "One Bread, One Body. One Lord of All. One Cup of Blessing which we bless. And we, though many, throughout the Earth. We are one body in this one Lord." That pretty much sums up the whole experience.

We join together - as different parts of the same body. Some of us are toes, some are hands, some are ears and others are feet. God takes all the parts and joins them together. We have come together and as this one body - we can accomplish great things.

After the service, a lot of hugging happened. And people exchanged phone numbers and emails and promises to find each other on Facebook. We don't want to lose the connections that we have formed. It will be hard to say goodbye (or just "see you later") but in our hearts we know that we will all still be a part of the same body.

United Methodists are part of a connectional ministry - each individual church contributes in some way to the whole. Some is through monetary apportionments (literally A Portion Meant - for others) and one way is through the connected ministry of UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief). This depot/warehouse contains kits created by United Methodist congregations all across the country. They merge together here in tiny little Baldwin, Louisiana for review and verification. Then they are scattered back out to the world.

We are much like those kits - we were sent from our congregations, supported by friends and family to come here to Baldwin where we have been tested and made ready to go back out into the world. Are we ready for deployment like the kits you see here? I sure hope so. I know I'm a little more ready than I was a week ago. When kits are deployed, the container is blessed by the volunteers working in the depot at that time...tonight's vesper service does much the same thing. And I pray that we will be a blessing to all those we encounter as we continue our work as the body of Christ.

Entertaining Angels Unaware

Tonight's team devotions focused on strangers. And there are no stranger people than the ones I'm traveling with (**rimshot**). No seriously...

Karen asked us to remember back to when we went to summer camp or something like that - to recall that feeling of anxiety and feeling out of place and uncertain. Then she asked if we still felt like that after a couple of days at camp. Everyone agreed that we met new friends and by the end of the week we didn't feel anxious anymore - we just felt sad that we would be separated from our new friends. Then she asked if we had a similar feeling when we arrived at Sager Brown - I know that I certainly did, and this is my third trip here!

Dorothy and Sherri

But within a day, I had met all kinds of great people that I want to know for the rest of my life. I think about Pastor David who has a sense of humor that is dry, a smile that is quick and a passion for serving others. Then I think about Melissa from Tyler, Texas who has the warmest spirit. She leads missions for her church and has given me new and exciting ideas to share with our missions committee back home. And the wonderful lady who has joined our group verifying health kits - we love Dorothy so much that when we were asked for a name for our dinner ticket tonight, Gordon and Sherri gave the name Dorothy. :)

Others in our group shared stories of "strangers" they have come to know. Jack, the spry 91 year old who worked tirelessly distributing food to seniors today...and in the process inspired even harder work by members of our team. Cathy the RN who has doctored members of every group including two of our team...her love of caring for others benefits all those around her. (she's also a hoot - dancing for sweet potato pancake day and laughing when I said that snowy egret tastes like chicken).

Mom and Melissa working (?)

Still more stories were shared about meeting strangers and being blessed by that exchange. Garland, Renee and Carole encountered a Baldwin resident who welcomed them to sit on the front porch and hear stories - they enjoyed the time as much a the lady did. When the seniors were picking up their food, Belva's favorite part of the distribution was the opportunity to chat with the people being served. Carl (aka Dad) has spent the week working on houses in the community. One young man whose house was being repaired is a paraplegic - his damaged roof caused ceiling damage and now that the roof has been repaired the Sager Brown outreach ministry worked to repair the ceiling. Another project involved stabilizing a porch that was in danger of collapse. A few man hours and some support posts later, a life was made a bit better.

Sometimes we think that in order to change the world we have to do something huge and sweeping: cure cancer, donate a wing for a hospital, write symphonies or design cathedrals. The fact is: the little sparks make the real difference. Some suggestions from the team during devotions tonight included:

- tell someone they look nice today
- tell the drive thru worker they have a great voice, or tell them you don't know how they keep it all straight during the rush hour (let them know they are doing a good job...)
- look someone in the eye and say "good morning" as you walk your dog
- compliment a coworker
- learn your server's name and use it when you say "thank you" (you'd be surprised how many people they wait on that don't even look up)
- send a personal note (or email, or Facebook message, or tweet...if you are a twitterer) that says to another human being "I appreciate the person that you are."

Because in doing this, we spread love. And isn't that the point? You don't know what an impact that may make on someone's day...or even their life.

Appreciating the Joy of a Great Meal

We worked hard in the depot today...but the topic of today's post is food.

One of the benefits of being part of a mission team at the Sager Brown UMCOR Depot is the wonderful food prepared by the Sager Brown staff. The depot is where the work happens, but right next door is where we sleep and EAT! (And the administrative offices, outreach office and the shop are there also...I'll tell more about that later in the week).

The buildings are actually part of the former campus of a school and orphanage begun in 1867. The Sager Brown mission school served families and children of Louisiana for over 110 years before it closed. In 1992 when Hurricane Andrew devastated the gulf coast the buildings were placed back into service during the recovery efforts and UMCOR Sager Brown was born. If you'd like to read more of the history, click here.

Some of the buildings are used as dorms. The simple accommodations are clean and pleasant, but no expense is wasted. The groups that come to volunteer in the depot or doing work in the community pay far less than a hotel and meals would cost and are rewarded with bounteous feasts thanks to the skills of the kitchen crew.

Yesterday's breakfast was biscuits, gravy and sausage links. Lunch was Ham with Pineapple and a lovely concoction of cheese and spaghetti (sort of like mac and cheese but with a higher cheese-to-pasta ratio), dinner was burgers and sweet potato fries. There is a great salad bar at lunch and dinner that includes pickled okra and there are always delightful desserts. I'm hoping they could start catering the Kiwanis lunches I attend twice month!

But today was a special day - sweet potato pancakes for breakfast and crawfish etouffee for lunch. And cheesecake for dessert.

One of my blog followers (and Facebook friends) commented while I was in the midst of writing this "quit telling us how very, very well you are eating! Tell about how very hard you are working!" Yes, we are working very hard. But part of the experience is the fellowship and camaraderie of meals, devotions and even sitting around playing cards. It is the total package that makes this experience unique. We laugh and sing and work and sweat and tease and cajole and support and pray for each other. I want my readers to know that being part of a mission team isn't a monk's life.

I think that is a misconception that we need to break - being Christian and serving others is fun. It is a joyful existence. You don't have to be serious all the time. You still get to have fun AND believe that God loves you. You can serve others AND smile and enjoy life. We focus hard on the work at hand but when we have the opportunity, we also get to embrace the great talents that God has given the staff in the kitchen. Today's crawfish etouffee was probably the best I've ever had. After a hard morning in the warehouse opening cases of toothpaste to be included in the health kits (toothpaste is heavy!) - the staff greeted us with smiling faces and delicious food to get us refreshed and ready to go back at it again. Even Jesus took time to recharge his batteries.

It is a great time here. We are meeting new friends, serving people in the community with home repairs and cleaning, providing assistance with a monthly food distribution for seniors and yes...verifying and packing a LOT of health kits (3 pallets today alone)! But equally important is the fact that our entire team is being reminded that Christianity isn't a gathering of sourpusses wonking each other over the head with Bibles and pointing out each others' shortcomings...we come in joy to serve the Lord because we have received so much. My favorite artistic rendition of Jesus is a picture of him laughing - it reminds me that God loves us and delights in us.

Now...to bed, to rest and prepare for another day. Morning will be here before long!

Making the machine

Day one of work at the UMCOR Sager Brown Depot. The depot is the main distribution point for relief supplies from the United Methodist church to global and domestic disasters. During orientation today we heard that in 2013 the value of goods shipped was just over 7 million dollars. It included 369,286 health kits (which contain a hand towel, washcloth, bandaids, soap, fingernail clippers, comb, toothbrush and toothpaste); 124,010 school kits; 11,032 clean birthing kits; 5,248 cleaning buckets; 19,859 layette kits; 5,040 sewing kits; and 2,471 bedding kits.

It is a great example of what happens in connected mission - individuals in churches all across the country make kits using instructions found on the UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief) website. Then the kits are gathered, often at the regional or state level. They are then shipped to Baldwin, Louisiana where they are verified and packed to be ready for distribution when the need arises anywhere in the world.

My morning began a little rough...I'm rooming with 7 other people. 2 of them snore. Really loud. So I put in my earplugs. At some point when folks were starting to get up, I pulled the covers over my head to block out the light. The next thing I know...Carole is poking me in the chest. I uncovered my head and said something like, "what?" to which she replied "breakfast." I looked at my phone and saw that I had four minutes to get to the dining hall. I made it in three. My hair was a wreck, I was wearing flip flops and my glasses...but I made it just before the bell rang. Whew. Not sure why it didn't occur to me that earplugs that would block out bears on my right and left would also block out the sound of my alarm. I'll need a new plan tomorrow morning.

What was the best part of working today? How easily everyone works together. I've worked in a lot of different environments - but this situation is different. I think that the difference is that everyone leaves their ego behind. They are flexible and fit in where the greatest need is, instead of where they want to be. I worked with two amazing guys in the packing station. We had all worked in that area before but this was the first time we had worked together. We came up with systems to keep the work flowing smoothly. Sure, things came up through the day that needed troubleshooting and whenever that happened - we just came up with solutions.

I observed that in other work areas - people sharing the work load, helping each other. Efficiency and accuracy were more important than volume and who was getting more done. It is a different kind of work environment than "normal."

Many years ago I was in a show called "Stop the World." I was part of the clown chorus. During that show the director (who was Kevin Bacon's first acting teacher...making me two degrees separated and that makes all of you three degrees separated from Kevin Bacon! But I digress...) wanted the clown chorus to represent a machine. He was actually kind of a lousy director...he pretty much worked with the principle actors and left us to figure out our blocking on our own. So the six of us went to work turning ourselves into a machine. It was six performers. With six giant egos. A piece of stage business that took 4-5 minutes of the show took nearly 2 hours to perfect.

I think watching the 30-40 people working in the depot today - merging into an efficient and beautiful machine was more wonderful than any work environment I've ever been a part of.

What great strides we could make in this world if we could all lose our egos and just focus on the end goal - improving the world one tiny bit at a time. As part of devotions tonight we sang "Pass it On" which starts with the lyric: It only takes a spark, to get a fire going. And soon all those around, can warm up to its glowing. Be a spark. You don't have to do any more than that...

Greater than the pieces

The sun has set over Bayou Teche and the mission team from Centenary UMC is settling in for the night. As I reflect over the two days of travel, one word comes to mind - patience. The trip from 1501 Rivermont Ave. to Baldwin, Louisiana is a shade over 1000 miles. If you could drive it without stopping for gas, snacks, rest or bathroom breaks - it would take about 15 hours. Reality makes it more like 18 hours. Despite the cramped quarters and monotony, the group of 14 people in the church van and a mini van remained more than just civil...we actually got to know each other a little better!

Bringing together different people with diverse talents, differing personalities and widely varied interests is pretty much a parallel to what this mission is about (and it also parallels churches and society as a whole). You take the best of each individual part and when combined - it creates this perfect mosaic. That reminds me of a story I was listening to in the van (I'm not much of a morning person so I spent the first part of today's drive listening to Father Greg Boyle's "Tattoos on the Heart" and playing Fruit Ninja).

I've shared the book "Tattoos on the Heart" with a great many people. I've also included his illustrations in sermons and probably on this blog. It is an illumination of the concept of compassion and kinship through the stories of gang members served by Homeboy Industries, a gang intervention program in the poorest parish in Los Angeles. But I digress...the story I remember from this morning involved Pastor G (his nickname from the homies...short for Greg) spending time serving alongside prisoners in a camp in Bolivia. He tells about a time that he and one of the prisoners made an illegal pot of iguana stew. Apparently the prison camp food was beyond bad - so one afternoon they found the opportunity to scavenge some vegetables (okay, the prisoner swiped the vegetables from one of the guard's houses while G acted as reluctant lookout). The amazing thing wasn't the fact that they managed to make the stew without getting caught - it was what happened while it was being created. In an unusual iteration of the classic "stone soup" tale, other prisoners found G and the prisoner, were invited to join and each one brought a secret, precious stash to add to the pot. The iguana was joined by a handful of coarse salt, a shriveled jalapeno... Each brought to the feast something precious and the final product was enjoyed by all.

That is what we do when we join together. We bring what we can - something precious and sacred to each of us - and the final product is an incredible mosaic of talents. It becomes something more than just the sum of the parts. It doesn't make mathematical sense - it is beyond explanation.

I look forward to this week that will surely involve hard work, personal sacrifice and yes, patience. I will strive to step back and let the mosaic come together without trying to fit the pieces together. And at the end of the week we will find that we have been a part of something bigger than ourselves. Bigger than the sum of the parts.

My fellow team members and I will share the experience with you through the week. Please be in prayer for us.

An Opportunity to Change Lives

I have spent far too long away from The Beaten Hamster. I just get so busy, ya know? But I have something really exciting to share with you, so I'm back!

On Saturday, October 18, I will be part of a 13 member team headed to do mission work in Louisiana. Baldwin, Louisiana is the home of the Sager Brown United Methodist relief supply depot where thousands and thousands of relief supplies flow from congregations to the world.

Imagine that you've been hit with a natural disaster, like a hurricane (easy to picture here in Virginia). Maybe you've been displaced from your home. All you have are the clothes on your back. You are feeling alone (even if you are surrounded by a bunch of other people going through the same catastrophe). Now imagine a person walking up with a package that includes a wash cloth, hand towel, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, nail clippers...and a few other items. You get the opportunity to clean up and feel a little more human. It can change your perspective. Perhaps give you the desire to keep going.

Imagine you are a living in a poor village in Africa. You want to go to school more than anything. You know that education is the key to improving life in your village, improving life for your family. But you lack school supplies. Or what the school considers proper attire. Enter the UMCOR (United Methodist Committee on Relief) school kit or sewing kit (or both!) and you have the tools you need to start that life-changing path to education.

Or perhaps you are in a third world country and pregnant. You know that your baby has less chance of surviving because of infections incurred during the birthing process. You may not even have a blanket and clothes for your newborn. Birthing kits provide necessary tools, like a sanitary razor blade to cut the cord and clean string to tie it off. Layette kits provide some basic clothing that can help a new baby survive in a challenging environment.

And I get to be a part of making that happen!! I will be working in the warehouse helping to check the kits (they have to be exactly as the customs forms indicate or the whole shipment could be seized) and pack them for shipment. The relief depot works hard to be certain there are kits ready to ship at a moment's notice. When disaster strikes, we'll be ready.

Most of the week I'll be wielding a tape gun and box cutter...but the trip is about more than just the work. I get the chance to grow closer to the team I'm traveling with - and to get to know teams from across the US. There is something amazing about being part of a group all pulling in the same direction. Which brings me to my last point...

I want you to be a part of this too! In addition to prayers and following our team's progress via my blog and the Centenary UMC Facebook...I need something tangible. I need a few more bucks to pay my way to Louisiana and back. If you can kick in $20 (or more...or less) you can send it me by mail (Chris Howell, 207 Maple Drive, Madison Heights, VA 24572), you can email me money if you have PayPal (hamsterbeaters@hotmail.com) or you can send the money straight to Centenary United Methodist Church, 1501 Rivermont Ave., Lynchburg, VA 24503. Heck - even the church has PayPal! You can click here to go to CUMC's donation page. After you've entered your info...on the second page, please click on the "special instructions for recipient" and note that it is for the Sager Brown Mission trip - Chris Howell.

Thank you - and stay tuned to see how the trip goes! (click here if you want to see pictures from a previous trip!)

Are You Weary?

Due to repeated requests by friends and family who were not able to hear the message I delivered on July 6 at Cove UMC, I am publishing that message here. I hope that you find value within it.

Matthew 11:16-19 (NRSV)
16 “But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another, 17 ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.’
18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; 19 the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

Matthew 11:25-30 (NRSV) "Jesus Thanks His Father"
25 At that time Jesus said, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants; 26 yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. 27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

In the gospel reading, Jesus begins by calling out the leaders of the current culture. It reminds me of a story about a rather pompous-looking deacon who was endeavoring to impress upon a class of boys the importance of living the Christian life. "Why do people call me a Christian?" the man asked. After a moment's pause, one youngster said, "Maybe it's because they don't know you."

That describes the situation that Jesus was faced with as he began his ministry. Oh, sure, the talk was all about how one could live a righteous life...but when you got right down to it, the leadership of the day was missing the forest for the trees!

The Ten Commandments was the basis for righteous living. It was handed down to the people of Israel through Moses. Ten easy rules for living – No other gods, only me. No idol worship. No irreverent use of God's name, Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy, Honor your father and mother, No murder, No adultery, No stealing, No lies about your neighbor, No lusting after other people's stuff.

Simple, right?

Then why are the next three chapters of Exodus full of extra instructions? And then there is Leviticus...and Deuteronomy? Because we are human...and nothing is that simple when you involve humans. Church, and indeed the world, would be perfect if God didn't let all these humans in!

Laws are interesting things – here are a few laws that you'll find amusing:

• In Lexington, Ky., there is an ordinance forbidding anyone to carry an ice-cream cone in his pocket.
• In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts it is against the law to eat peanuts in church or to use tomatoes in making clam chowder.
• In Kansas an old law states that you cannot eat snakes on Sunday or rattlesnake meat in public.
• In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
• In Oklahoma you cannot take a bite of another person's hamburger.
• In Baltimore, its illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.
• Oh...I'm in trouble if I go there!

So at the beginning of the gospel lesson, we find Jesus opening with a cutting declaration about the nature of much of the discourse he sees happening among the leaders of his culture. Legalism. He says they’re like children in the marketplace, complaining because other children won’t dance the dance and play the game they want to play when they want to play it. This is why, he says, prophets like John the Baptist and himself don’t get rave reviews by religious leaders. John was declared a demoniac because of his asceticism, while Jesus was considered a drunkard and glutton because of his conviviality at meals with known sinners.

There’s no pleasing some people.

But this story says more than just that the bickering was commonplace. These are the leaders, after all. Ultimately, they’re not just playing their own separate games. They’re playing the same game: rivalry. And each is trying to enlist as many others to their “side” so each can declare itself the winner and rightful ruler of all.

Sound familiar?

We hear it all the time in our modern culture. You need to worship THIS way, MY way to be right. We need to sing THESE songs, the ones that I like – to be right. You're not properly baptized if it isn't by immersion in the river... You're not a proper Christian if you choose to study a different translation of the Bible than me. You're not going to heaven if you haven't checked off these items on OUR list.
You're either on OUR team doing things OUR way...or you're wrong and doomed.

Their game of rivalry is more than just childish. It’s wearing, wearying, life-denying and destructive. Through it, leaders turn life into their own private war, with them at the top, and whomever they can enlist through their influence as expendable soldiers on the front lines. There are no real winners, except rivalry itself.
Aren't we tired of sitting down with our rule book deciding who is IN and who is OUT?

Dr. Seuss wrote many wonderful stories and books – one of my very favorite was always the one about the star-bellied sneetches. In the story (which is part of the book Sneetches and Other Stories) there is a group of yellow creatures named Sneetches. Some of the Sneetches have a green star on their bellies. The star-bellied sneetches start discriminating against the sneetches without stars. If you don't have a star, then you are shunned by the ones that DO have a star.

Enter Sylvester McMonkey McBean. With his fabulous invention, the Star-On machine, the sneetches can have a star for just 3 bucks. So now the ones who originally had stars are mad because they aren't special anymore. McBean has a Star-Off machine that will take their stars off for 10 bucks! But then the sneetches who had new stars just pay their money and take their new stars off...so they can keep being part of the RIGHT crowd.

As a kid, I loved looking a the illustrations of sneetches going in and out of these two machines. Finally...all the sneetches are broke...McBean drives off with his machines and a truck full of their money. Some of the sneetches have stars, some have more than one...some have none. But they are all a little wiser.

Whether you are looking at the early church that Paul was writing to in Rome or the modern day church – we have to stop being in the business of deciding who God thinks is worthy. That is exhausting our resources.

That is why the passage from Matthew continues with Jesus calling the wearied and overburdened to come to him for rest? Jesus doesn’t play “rivalry.” He plays “deliverance,” deliverance made possible because the kingdom of God has drawn near.

The rest Jesus promises is not a vacation or escape from this life. It is rather a different way of engaging life, under his teaching and direction, rather than under the compulsive direction of those who play rivalry and judgment. There is a yoke. There is a burden. There is work to be done, and we need the team to do it together. But this work, this plowing in the fields of God’s kingdom, is not about who has the best or most popular. It’s about a making way for harvest of righteousness, and justice, and love for God and neighbor, and then bringing in the abundant sheaves.

So this week’s reading has a lot to say to all of us just now, wherever we may be, where rivals may call for the church to divide unless they get their way on some issues.

To all of us, Jesus says, “Come to me.” Leave the game of rivalry behind. Don’t let those who play that game overwork you (like oxen), whoever you may be. Learn from me. Live as my disciples. Become bearers with me, in word and deed, in work and relationships, in public discourse and in secret prayer of the good news of God’s kingdom drawn near. Learn from me how your good work contributes to an abundant harvest for all.

Leave the judgment part to God. We are not really very good at it anyway.

A few years ago, 1996, when the Olympic Games were held in Atlanta, GA – an American police officer named Richard Jewell became known in connection with the Centennial Olympic Park bombing. Discovering a backpack filled with three pipe bombs on the park grounds, Jewell alerted police and helped to evacuate the area before the bomb exploded, saving many people from injury or death. Initially hailed by the media as a hero, Jewell was later considered a suspect. Despite never being charged, he underwent a "trial by media" with great toll on his personal and professional life. Eventually he was completely exonerated and Eric Robert Rudolph was later found to have been the bomber. In 2006 (after ten years!?), Governor Sonny Perdue publicly thanked Jewell on behalf of the state of Georgia for saving the lives of those at the Olympics.

We are human. We are quick to judge. We often discover that our initial judgment is completely wrong. We see the surface appearance of a person or a situation. We think we have all of the facts. Or at least enough of the facts. Here is a story about a quick judgment that I think we can all relate to:

It was a cold winter's day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost lying down as if he were asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you couldn't see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless and asleep, so I walked by through the church doors.

We all enjoyed fellowship for a few minutes, and then someone brought up the man who was lying outside. People snickered and gossiped, but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. We all waited for the preacher to take his place, and to give us the Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man, walking down the aisle with his head down.

People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit. When he took off his hat and coat my heart sank. There stood our preacher... he was the "homeless man." No one said a word... the room was silent and still. Then the preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand. "Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I'm preaching about today."

We need to get out of the judging business. We need to get down to what God really wants us to do. He did not send us to measure people with a yard stick and see how they meet our goals. He wanted us to take good news into the world!

In Matthew 22 Jesus is asked which is the greatest commandment. He said to love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind – that is the greatest and first commandment. Then he said, Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus took 10 commandments and packed them into two. Love God – if you do that, then that takes care of the first four of the big 10: No other gods, only me. No idol worship. No irreverent use of God's name, Observe the Sabbath and keep it holy. Love your neighbor as yourself – that takes care of the other 6: if you love your neighbor (everybody) then you will honor more than just your father and mother – you honor everyone you meet. If you love everyone the way you want to be loved, you won't need to be told not to murder or steal or practice adultery or covetousness.

So the big ten becomes the basic two. And still, we humans didn't seem to grasp it. According to the Gospel of John, Jesus tried one more time at the Last Supper. John 13: 34-35 reads, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Nowhere in there does it say anything about IF a person is worthy of your love or IF a group agrees with what you have to say. It says love one another.

The rule book went out the window when Jesus came on the scene. That's the major reason that the establishment decided he had to GO!! He was hanging out with all kinds of people that the leadership found to be unworthy – tax collectors, prostitutes, harlots, common people. He spent no time currying their favor. They – the star-bellied sneetches of their day! Nope, he hung out with the riff-raff that had no stars on their bellies. And they probably didn't even have the three bucks to buy one!

Jesus met people where they were – and showed them that they were worthy of God's love. It wasn't about rules or pedigrees or stars...it was about being a child of God.

Jesus reminds us not to let ourselves become distracted by the game of rivalry or any leaders anywhere who play it. As compelling as it may seem, life is not sustained there.

Instead, life is beaten down, worn out, and used up there. Life, is sustained as we continue to take on the yoke of Jesus, and the burden he gives us, and learn from our meek master what it means to bear it with patience, and kindness, and love.

Are you weary? Take a break from deciding who is worthy – leave that work to the one who can handle the pressure.

The we can get back to the true labor, the true plowing, the true waiting, and trust in God’s abundant harvest among all those beaten down by the rivalries and lifted up by God in this age and in the age to come.

Another Job I Can't Do

Readers recently discovered that I am NOT good at everything. You are all mighty shocked, I am sure. Brace yourselves - in addition to discovering that I would NOT be a good server, I have to tell you something else. I would also not be good at commission sales.

Sure, I can sell members of my church a lot of frozen casseroles. And I have sold lots and lots of Girl Scout cookies. Wait...that's not right...I have bought lots and lots of Girl Scout cookies.

Straight commission sales...add in a snake and a small child and you've got my personal definition of hell.

I did try it - once. I was in my early twenties and disenchanted with my job stuffing inserts into the newspaper. I answered one of those ads in the classifieds that looks really cool: Be your own boss! Unlimited earning potential! Set your own hours!

My antennae should have been alerted when the "interview" was scheduled for a Sunday evening at the offices of Thousand Trails in Rustburg. And when I arrived and found myself part of a "group interview" - the alarm bells should have been ringing. But they weren't - because I was young and trusted the advertiser. NEVER trust advertisers. From politics to products, advertisers have one goal: make you want what they are offering.

But I digress...a pair of energetic young college students (one male, one female - both very attractive) spent half an hour telling us about the untapped sales universe opening up before us. We all had the opportunity to make unlimited money selling time-share campground spaces. Time-share camping. Yup. And while the good looking young hunk was telling me how intelligent and go-getting I appeared to be (during our private interview...10 minutes long....) - well, I sure was passionate about getting out there and selling a whole bunch of seniors with RVs on the joys of camping in the great city of Rustburg, Virginia.

On the drive home, I started to come to my senses. And then I tried my pitch on my parents - who kindly informed me that it wasn't something that they were prepared to invest in. I tried my pitch on about three more couples in my circle of friends...then I gave up. I am sure that there are people out there who could have made that job work.


No...you know, I'm NOT sure that there are people out there who could have made a good living at selling time-share camping in Rustburg. It really was a dreadful "product" to sell.

This all came to mind when I young man that I know and love was enticed to go into commission sales. Same energetic pitch...same delirium caused by smiling people saying "this stuff practically sells itself! You make $15 for every meeting you set up. You'll be rich in no time..."

Actually - this young man came to his senses much quicker than me.

But it still angers me that companies feel it is okay to take advantage of young people in this way. Dangle some fat cash promises and the "joy" of being your own boss (generally, people suck at being their own boss. Especially college-age people who haven't had a lot of bosses to model after). It's a crappy and unethical way to make a buck. Usually what happens is the family of the young person buys stuff "just to get them started." And then they might be generous enough to refer a few friends and colleagues (great way to lose both!) before the young person realizes they could make more money selling their plasma.

Ethical companies provide sales training AND support. Good sales jobs usually start with a "draw" (a base salary while you're learning the ropes) that declines over time (after all, there has to be an incentive to start making sales!). But it has become an acceptable practice to have young people bust their humps, selling stuff to their unsuspecting family and soon-to-be-former friends...then when the young people run out of leads - you just cut them loose and suck in some more.

I'm not going to buy stuff from companies like that any more. That includes a lot of our local car dealerships.

And I'm not going to try to sell any more time-shares for Thousand Trails.

As I told a telemarketer one day when they were trying to sell me an internet listing service, "perhaps you should go into a more ethical line of work...like drowning kittens or prostitution."

Hamster beaten.

Salute to Servers

I always thought that I'd be really good as a waitress. After all, I like food. I like people. And I have a good enough memory to be able to bring people unsweet tea when that is what they are drinking (a pet peeve of mine...taking a big swig of my refreshing beverage to get hit by the cloying sweetness of southern sweet tea). What could be hard about serving?

Everything.

I tried it when I returned from my last season at Kings Dominion. I lasted for two, yes...TWO lunches. I didn't even make it to dinner service. I admit, it may have been a mistake to start at a local fine dining establishment. The place was Emil's (where Isabella's is now) and the kitchen was ruled by the iron fist of Urs Gabathuler. A German chef that made Gordon Ramsey look tame. Highly talented, but extremely particular. The server who was "training" me put the fear of God in me. This was not the fun interactive experience that I had expected. Then I was stunned to realize that most diners do not even acknowledge their server is human. Perhaps it was the location. Perhaps it was that particular clientele. But my conversations with servers makes me suspect that it wasn't just me. All of these customers gave their order to the tablecloth and handed the menu AT me (not TO me) over their shoulder. When I showed up at dinner service on my second day with a spot on my white shirt (tiny grease spot...probably from lunch) and was sent home to change...I just stayed there.

My respect for these hard working folks has never wavered.

My goal now is to be their best table of the day. I want them to smile and know that they are appreciated. Maybe I can't do anything radical like Rachel Ray's new show "The Big Tip" - where they give $1000 tips to two worthy servers and one $10,000 tip to the most special one they feature. Find it, watch it, bring tissues.

I have mentioned in this blog before that service with a smile can turn my day around...I'd like to tell you about a couple of the people I regularly interact with in local restaurants that have done that lately. Now you know, I love several local restaurateurs: Rob Pearson at Charley's (not the one with the O') and Uday from the Hot and Cold Cafe'. But they aren't really servers, so they don't qualify.

On the top of my list is my new girl Whitney at Injera on Main Street. Ethiopian food. Whitney greets everyone (but especially me) with a big smile and a welcoming attitude. She is working for a restaurant that features a cuisine that is new to Lynchburg. She recognizes that and takes the time to offer each table more information about the menu. She admits that she is a carnivore, but doesn't stop me if I decide to order one of the vegetarian dishes. She keeps my Coke filled and my attitude light. It all looks effortless - but I know that it isn't. She is pretty to look at, but it is her warm spirit that makes me walk in the door hoping she'll be there to brighten my day. And when she said that one way to remember her name was Whitney Houston, she laughed at my "crack is whack" joke and smiled when I sang a little bit of "and Iiiiiiiii will always loooooovvveee youuuuuuuu..." I should probably leave a bigger tip next time I visit.


Just down the street at Robin Alexander, I can always count on Joanie (as in "loves Chachi") for excellent service. She remembers that I like the chicken noodle soup - so even if I don't ask what the soup of the day is, she'll tell me when they have my favorite. She knows my sister will always order the sweet potato fries with raspberry melba sauce to dip them in. She knows that I think that is grossly sweet. Our drinks never run empty. She doesn't hover. My only complaint is that she is so quiet, I've been startled by her sudden appearance a couple of times. Or maybe that is just my lack of observation... Or maybe my sister (and frequent dining companion) is really loud?

One of my favorite servers is at the Cavalier. Yes, I think that Wells Duffy is also an owner...but he carries a lot of food around there - so I'm counting him in. Not everyone sees Wells as a warm and inviting presence. But they are missing the fluffy bunny within that gruff exterior. He always greets me and asks about my parents. He never fails to get every aspect of my table's order perfect (and some of my people are particular). Drinks rarely find themselves empty. And my favorite line is always delivered with his unique charm - as the basket of seasoned potato wedges land in the middle of the table: "be careful, the fries are hot." He knows that we know they are hot. We've been here hundreds of times. But I still feel cared for when he warns me the fries are hot. I still bite into one while it is the temperature of the sun...but that is not his fault.

And one more mention (though I could literally write this post all night long...there are so many extraordinary servers that I have encountered) - Nicole at Depot Grille. I wrote about a month ago about the train derailment that I was on the front lines for. I mentioned in the post that the derailment happened just after my table handed off our credit cards to pay our respective checks. What I didn't mention was that in the midst of the chaos of people streaming out of the area - Nicole found me (crouching behind a car) to let me know that she had our cards and would keep them safe. While there were train cars on FIRE less than 100 yards away, she wanted me to know that she was watching out for us. Yes, Nicole always smiles - like Whitney. Nicole is pretty familiar with my ordering habits and will point out specials that she knows I like - like Joanie. And just like Wells, she would probably warn me not to put blistering hot fries on my poor tongue. But I have to give a special nod to anyone who would stop running away from a very dangerous situation to reassure me that she would take good care of my credit card. I'm very glad that both of us survived that experience. She is pretty darn special.

To everyone who puts up with customers - thank you. A lot of us are so wrapped up in our stuff, we forget to acknowledge your service.

To anyone who does it in the food service industry - you amaze me. You do something I have found that I just can't do. I appreciate you very much.

Shop Local, Eat Local, Have Big Fun!

Tomorrow at 10:30am will be the convergence of three of my favorite things.

#1 - shopping local. My family is very aware that I abhor the giant stores like Target and Walmart. I know you can find lots of different things under one roof. I can get a snow shovel, cat food, a new DVD, cord for my phone and a bean bag chair. I'm just not sure that is a good thing. It may be a huge variety, but I know how those stores treat their vendors because a company I worked for had a client that produced a popular hunting video series that was sold at Walmart. They dictated the price point and the terms - the vendor just had to make the budget fit. And when I say they dictated the terms - they routinely demanded up to 120 days to pay. And if the hunting dudes didn't get paid for 120 days, you can see how that rolls downhill.

So I prefer to buy local. I'd rather spend a couple of extra bucks to get my snow shovels and cat food from a business owned by a guy who actually lives in the area. Does that mean there aren't going to be mass-produced goods? No. Does it mean that I can count on the factories producing those goods to treat their workers fairly? No. But I think that the likelihood increases.


#2 - being part of a cash mob. I wrote about my first experience "in the mob" when the cash mob visited local grocer Anderson's Market. The concept is simple: a group of people show up at a pre-arranged time/place to shop with $20 (or more...!) to bolster the community spirit of shopping with a local store. It is fun and has given me a reason to stop in at places that I might not have shopped at otherwise. Our last cash mob was at Virginia Garden Center where I found wonderful and healthy plants. I also discovered knowledgeable and caring staff. I plan to return there for more stuff. On another occasion I ended up downtown at a little artistic place called Pastiche. Totally cool - completely off my radar! I am quite pleased at the variety of places our mob has visited. I can't wait for tomorrow's (Saturday, June 14) spot.

#3 - hanging out in a hardware store. Oh my goodness - I do love a good hardware store. Sure, I make trips to Lowe's from time to time. Actually worked for a Lowe's vendor for about a year and spent a LOT of time in the Lowe's stores in the great state of West Virginia. I was setting new displays in the faucet repair section. I learned one thing - customers in the Lowe's stores in WV are so desperate for assistance, it wouldn't matter if the vendor vests said "Inmate" across the back, they would ask me for help anyway. Regardless of the downsides of being in a big box store (and being in increasingly random places in WV...ever heard of Logan, WV? Had to drive through the back parking lot of the liquor store to get to the Super 8)...I loved all the little boxes of connectors and washers and nuts and stuff.

I have always loved hardware stores. The smell draws me in - a mixture of lumber, metal, fertilizer and rubber. I delight in discovering all the weird little things that a hardware store has to offer. Sure, you got your bolts and nuts and screws; hammers and screwdrivers and staple guns; seeds and plants and plant food - but then you turn a corner and find kitchen tools like meat thermometers and turkey basters - turn another corner and you find plungers and brooms. It would be the best possible place to have a scavenger hunt. Where else could you possible find a step ladder, garden hose, mop bucket and replacement seal for your granny's pressure cooker?

Tomorrow's cash mob will be at Lynchburg's True Value Hardware. I haven't been there in years! I'm looking forward to finding the perfect Father's Day gift. Something like an axe handle or hummingbird feeder or pocket knife...the possibilities are nearly endless! Come join me in the adventure!!

Then perhaps I'll EAT LOCAL and make a quick stop by Anderson's for some cheese and those marshmallows that are like having Lucky Charms without the pesky cereal part!