I'm in Jeopardy...of feeling stupid...

Just signed up for the Jeopardy online test. I'll take it Thursday evening at 10pm local time. I have taken the test several times in the past. It generally sends me to bed sucking my thumb feeling like the stupidest human on Earth. And I KNOW that I'm smarter than a lot of people...even a lot of the people who I've seen appear on Jeopardy.

The test is not multiple choice - you actually have to type in your answers in the allotted time (although you don't have to phrase in the form of a question). It is 50 questions from various topics. Some of them I will do well with - others I will go with my favorite "I don't know" answer...Alex Trebek. "The third czar of Russia." "Who is Alex Trebek?" "He invented shaving cream." "Who is Alex Trebek?" Personally, I don't know why more contestants don't throw that
                                                          out there instead of "I don't know."

You only have 15 seconds to answer. I am one of those people who can get brain-lock. Throw a question at me and most times you get an answer. It is what I believe to be the correct answer and is offered as definitive truth. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" "87" But then there will be a question that I KNOW the answer to, but can't pull it out of my frozen head. "What is your brother's name?" "umm....I know this one...Susan? - no, brother....I got this...." BUZZZZZ. Gordon! His name is Gordon! Like the fishsticks!!

So, hoping for no brain-lock and no categories like "Russian Royalty" or "Nobel Prize Winners" (unless it happens to be Richard Feynman. I'm reading his "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" book for the third or fourth time. I love Richard Feynman.) Everyone is encouraged to pray for categories that include Potent Potables (because I love liquor), Foods of All Nations (because I love multi-cultural food), Spices (alright, I know I'm getting silly), Old Testament People, the 12 Disciples, the Bill of Rights and maybe State Capitals.

Reading a couple old posts that reference Jeopardy - I remembered posing the question "What would your Jeopardy moment be?" In other words, when Alex gives you that minute to share something memorable - what would it be? I have a few possibilities - if I make the show, I'll let you guys vote on the best one.

- "I once inadvertently hung myself from a tree." After all, it is an impressive scar and very few people would have that story. It turns out it is just something stupid that I did to myself, I was swinging on a rope to jump in the river and I got caught in the rope. But it usually makes people's eyebrows raise. And little old ladies like to tell me how lucky I was that I didn't pull my whole arm off (because their uncle/cousin/neighbor had their arm ripped off in some horrific way).



- "I write a blog called The Beaten Hamster." That never fails to get a raised eyebrow. And then people want to know what I have against hamsters. Hey, as long as they stay on their side of the room, I have no reason to beat them. Just kidding. Love hamsters. Had a hamster as a kid. Recently held the guinea pig of my friend Jennifer. It squeaks and chirps and is all kinds of cute. I would not beat it - unless it pooped in my hand. Because that is just nasty.

- "I once found a beer in a frozen lake in Western Canada. I believe that it is proof that God loves us." That really did happen. I was with a group of three or four friends and they were showing me the Spray Lakes near Canmore in Alberta. We were sliding around on the ice and we saw this spot - with very little effort we removed the full and sealed beer from the ice. We passed it around our small group. It was cold and delicious and on a perfect sunny day in the middle of nowhere - it did indeed seem that God smiled down.

There are more. Let's see how the online test goes. Still time to register - join me!!