Tuesday, February 25

The Wild Idea

I get these crazy wild ideas at about midnight. This is actually an idea that has been percolating in my mind for a while - just got more specific last night. I've even bounced the idea off of a couple key folks!

The short answer to "what is your idea?" is "I want to turn a room at our church into a mini theater." But I've started to expand on the idea. The room in question is currently being used as the middle school Sunday school classroom and a computer center (largely a tragic collection of donated computers that run Windows 2000 and play DOS games). I think it has the potential to be so much more!

The computer center will have to go live in another room - once the theater is a theater, it needs to mostly stay a theater.

The windows can be blocked with foam insulation sheets that we can even let students use as art project space! I think we've got 5 windows to deal with. The foam insulation can be cut to fit snug (and that makes this wild scheme completely reversible in the future).

I think it would be super-nifty to paint the walls black. Behr makes a paint you can scrub - so we could even use the walls like a giant chalk board (without the expense of actual chalkboard paint!). I even envision a special event when we could make glow chalk (there are kits), move the chairs, let the kids decorate the walls and have a black light dance!

To have chairs that will be easy to move but comfortable enough for watching a 2 hour movie - BAG CHAIRS!! Cheap, replaceable, light weight! They can be potential canvases for another art project! Sharpies and artistic talent would be the only resources needed.

The great thing about this scheme is that the room would be useful for all ages! The adults might want to gather to watch a travel video, see a presentation (like Powerpoint), take a class on How to Use Facebook or What is a Browser Anyway? The room would be setup so that a person of minimal technical skill could walk in, put their disc in the tower and hit play. I'll use my Dad as a test monkey.

The cost for the transformation will be minimal - paint, chairs, projector and a couple of speakers. We've got everything else we need!

So, then I got to the wild part of my idea. Let's get the JIFF kids to help with the transformation during their Spring break! I just need adults to supervise a couple hours each afternoon/evening for 3-4 days!

And some bag chairs...

And some folks to help me convince any naysayers that this is a good idea.

That is epic idea #1...I've got another one cooking...

Thursday, February 20

They'll Know - the full version

A few weeks ago, I wrote about an idea that I had forming in my mind for my message on Sunday, February 16. The following is the full text from my message (yep, can't be called a sermon unless you're a real preacher). I didn't veer away from the "script" too often, but if you want to listen to it you can find it in Centenary's "Internet chapel". Generally the message/sermon is in Track 5. I hope that you find something within this that speaks to you.


They'll Know
The choir's anthem They'll Know We Are Christians by Our Love is the basis for my message today. And when you look at each of the scriptures that are part of today's lectionary – you will see that they are all about love. The passage from Deuteronomy is part of Moses' farewell to his people as they are about to enter the promised land. He is not allowed to enter and he is trying to leave them with words that will stick with them during this next chapter of their story. He wants it to be both a blessing and a call to covenant faithfulness to the God who rescued the people of Israel from bondage in Egypt. He knows this is his last chance to reach them. That is a lot to consider – what would you say to a group of people you had been leading if you knew that these were likely to be your last words to them?
Moses chooses a powerful reminder to love. Eugene Peterson's The Message phrases Chapter 30 verse 16 this way: And I command you today, Love God, your God. Walk in his ways. Keep his commandments, regulations and rules so that you will live, really live. Live Exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess.
That's really how we start. Loving God and glimpsing how much he loves us. Once we can wrap our heads around that – then we can get down to living how he wants us to live. Exuberantly.
Love is the key.
Jerome, in his commentary on Galatians, tells that St. John continued preaching in Ephesus even when he was in his 90s. Even when he was so enfeebled that he had to be carried in on a stretcher, he would lean up on one elbow and deliver his message, “Little children, love one another.” Then he would lie back down and be carried out. One day, the story goes, someone asked him why he said the same thing week after week. John replied, “Because it is enough.” It is Christianity in a nutshell.
We are called to love one another. To show that we are Christians by our love. Because They'll know. First of all, they are going to know we are Christians by the love we show to THEM. Who them? Who are THEY? Who is my neighbor?
With the recent snowfall, I've heard a lot (and read a lot on Facebook) about neighbors taking care of each other. People shoveling each others' walks, giving rides to people, checking on each other to be sure they are okay. These neighbors are important. But we know from scripture that our neighbor is more than the guy who lives next door with the snowblower. In our Thursday evening after-school program JIFF we are currently studying this idea of neighbors. The kids are learning that the whole world is our neighborhood.
So, suddenly – They and them are more clearly defined. They are the people on the outside who are just waiting to be invited in. I've been reading the most incredible book, I hope that you will all take them time to pick it up...Tattoos on the Heart by Gregory Boyle, a Jesuit who began Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles. The book is a collection of stories from the gang-intervention program that was started in the poorest parish in LA, center of the gang capital of the world. You don't get much more “they” than that.
In this book, Pastor G (as the homies call him) tells about the instance in scripture where Jesus is in a house so packed that no one can come through the door anymore. So the people open the roof and lower this paralytic down through it so Jesus can heal him. Although the focus of the story is, understandably, the healing of the paralytic...there is something more significant happening. They're ripping the roof off the place, and those outside are being let in.
We need to rip some roofs off. We need to go outside and see the people who are hurting and need Jesus. We need to find every way possible to get them connected to the one who loves them – and let them know that he does.
Centenary has a rich history of reaching out. The JIFF program is about 20 years old. We send teams to the Sager Brown Depot to prepare relief supplies that travel the globe, we reach out in a lot of ways. Are we doing all we can?
There are people who are hurting out there. People who need to see the love of God. We have neighbors who don't have enough to eat, who need a listening ear, who need a helping hand to get back on their feet, neighbors who face barriers that we can dismantle. They are counting on us.
We have the power to show them God's love. But we have to understand something very important. They will experience God's love through the love we show. And they will be able to tell if it is genuine. I had one of Pastor Rick's Stewardship Thoughts from last year that I carried in my Bible until I passed it on to a friend. So, I don't have the exact wording...but the gist of it was...they'll know. They will know if we are helping them out of a sense of obligation or if our helping them is just an extension of the joy we have in being loved so much by God.
The scripture from Matthew reminds us though, that this love thing is tricky and that we, as humans, will take this simple command and screw it up. We will carelessly call our brother 'idiot' and thoughtlessly yell 'stupid' at a sister. Even in the church. Did God really leave this important work to us? Yep.
And we can be reassured by the fact that the difficulties we face as members of the body of Christ are not so different than those difficulties faced by the early church. In Colossians 3:13-14 Paul tells that church (and us) that we need to “be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” After listing all the ways we can bless each other, Paul wrote these words because he recognizes that sometimes we fall short. We're going to irritate each other, so we'll need to put up with each other.
Friday was Valentine's Day. A great many of you celebrated your relationships. My cat and I wished you well. We at least wished you no harm. :) How many of you have had times in those relationships when you needed to put up with each other? Church relationships are no different. Accepting each other is an important key to making this “marriage” work. At some point you say to yourself, you know what? I love him, I love her even though he/she is not perfect. There are things that cause pain and require a measure of grace to be dealt with. If we are to move beyond those things, we have to remember there are six words that are as important as any spoken in a marriage or relationship: Those six words are “I am sorry” and “I forgive you.” If you're unable to say those words, you have no chance of making a friendship, a family relationship, a marriage or a church last. It's that simple.
We have got to get our act together! They need us. They are counting on us. They'll know... They'll know we are Christians by the love we show for each other.
We have to exemplify God's love in every aspect of our lives, but it is critical that we show love within the church. This story was related to me and it hit so close to home, it felt like a story I could have told myself. “I became a Christian as a teenager, and I immediately wanted to be involved in my church. Hoping to channel that enthusiasm, the church leaders put me on the committee which was planning the promotion for the church's building fund. The adults were working on a brochure, which I was supposed to help them write. It was exciting to be performing an important service, and to be working along side a group of mature Christians-or so I thought.
After the first meeting it was clear that these "mature" believers were more concerned about whether or not to have an air conditioner in the new sanctuary than they were about spiritual matters. They argued and fought through the entire meeting. I got my eyes off the creator and onto the creation, and it was discouraging. For 6 years after that day I refused to go to church, read the Bible or even consider anything relating to Christianity. "If that's what Christians are like, why would I want to be one?" I reasoned.”
You see? They'll know! They will figure it out before we even get the chance to tell them about Jesus and the unfathomable love he has for every single person. Mahatma Ghandi said, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Do not let this be our story.
Let our story be about how we ripped off roofs to introduce a hurting world to the love of the one who knows our name. Who can't wait to see us face to face.
Chapter 3 of Paul's letter to the Corinthians shows us what church ISN'T supposed to be: He opens that chapter by saying “But for right now, friends, I'm completely frustrated by your unspiritual dealings with each other and with God. You're acting like infants in relation to Christ.” He goes on to say that if they are going to act like children then he will just have to treat them like children. They are suffering from an immature faith that leads to fighting, jealousy, selfishness and worshiping the leaders instead of God.
He says “Who do you think Paul is, anyway? Or Apollos, for that matter? Servants, both of us...” he continues in verse 6... “I planted the seed, Apollos watered the plants but God made you grow.”
The mission statement of the United Methodist Church states that we are “to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.” Disciples, by biblical definition aren't simply worship attenders or financial givers, but people who answer the call to follow Jesus with their lives. And their love.
No message about love would be complete without you hearing about God's love toward us. If we can grasp that concept – then the rest is just making sure that light shines through you.
For those of you who celebrated a love relationship on Valentine's Day Friday, I want you to close your eyes and think back to the beginning of that love. Remember when your heart would beat a little faster when the phone rang because you knew it was your love on the other end? Remember times that you spent on the front porch because kisses were like potato chips, you couldn't stop until you ate the whole bag. Remember waking up and seeing your love asleep next to you and feeling the love so intensely that your breath caught in your throat and a tear came to your eye? Maybe it isn't a romantic love that you remember. Maybe it is the love for a child. Or a child for a parent. Just think right at this moment about an intense, heart-stopping love. Guess who loves you more than that?
A man named Bill was taking care of his father as he died of cancer. His father had become frail and depended on Bill to do everything for him. Although he was physically not what he had been, his mind remained alert and lively. In the role reversal common to adult children who care for their dying parents, Bill would put his father to bed and read him to sleep, exactly as his father had done for him in childhood. Bill would read from some novel and his father would lie there, staring at his son, smiling. Bill was exhausted from the day's care and work and would plead with his Dad, “look, here's the idea. I read to you, you fall asleep.” Bill's father would impishly apologize and dutifully close his eyes. But this wouldn't last long. Soon Bill's father would pop one eye open and smile at his son. Bill would catch him and whine, “now come on.” The father would again, oblige, until he couldn't anymore, and the other eye would open to catch a glimpse of his son. Bill knew that this evening ritual was really a story of a father who just couldn't take his eyes off his kid. How much more so God?
Anthony DeMello writes, “Behold the One beholding you, and smiling.”
I realized last night, after I thought this message was finished...There is one thing wrong with the choir's anthem. They. With all due respect to Peter Scholtes, that is part of the problem...us and them. We shouldn't be separated. We are one in the spirit. We are one in the Lord. It's about ALL of us. We'll know we are Christian by our love.
Let's pray for unity.
Let's walk with each other – hand in hand.
Spread the news that God is in our land.
Work with each other – side by side.
Guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride.
We'll know we are Christians by our love. Everyone needs to hear about this incredible. Unfathomable. Unconditional. Love. We need to hear this too. We need to come to the place of accepting this for ourselves. We need to know – we are wholly acceptable to God. And he loves us. Right here. Right now.
In Tattoos on the Heart, Pastor G relates a story about Willy. Willy has hit up G for a ride and 20 bucks. When Pastor G stops at the ATM to coax the 20 from his thin bank account Willy asks him for the keys so he can listen to the radio but G tells him to pray instead. When he returns to the car he finds Willy changed. Quiet and reflective and he knows that Willy has made a connection to God. Listen...(here I played about a 30 second clip where Pastor G asks Willy how he sees God. Willy replies that “God is my dog.” (meaning his homie, good thing) Then he asks Willy how he thinks God sees him. After some thought Willy says, “He thinks I'm firme (spanish word).” In gang terms, it means “it could not be one bit better.”)
God thinks that we are all Firme. He loves us completely. When we recognize how much God loves us.
Right now.
Not when we do better.
Not when we get our checklist done: read bible daily, fast weekly, tithe, stop speeding, never lose our temper...
No, we are wholly acceptable. No conditions. Firme. Could not be one bit better.
When we dive into the depths of that unfathomable love, then we start to see the people around us differently. And this love thing starts to spread. And this just might catch on.

Monday, February 10

Kitchen Transformation

Sometimes it is just easier to do things when my housemates are out of town. I share my home with my parents (bought it from them last January). They are the best roommates I have ever had. Admittedly, the bar wasn't set very high. My first roommate was one sister - she wanted to throw me out after a week. I was about 17 at the time, so I don't blame her. My second roommate was my other sister. I wanted to throw her boyfriend out of the window after a week. He ate my food and laid around the apartment all day. Hmmm...maybe I understand my first roommate's problem with the 17 year old me!

My next roommate was a strange little woman - looked a bit like an Ewok. She couldn't sleep with the air conditioning on, so I survived a summer in Richmond bathed in perspiration. She also had a cat who like to walk on the window sill outside my second floor bedroom. And she seemed to blame me for the fact that the window had no screen...but since she was the only person on the lease, I couldn't call the apartment manager to replace it. Holy cow! I was an illegal tenant!

My next roommate was the worst. Well, only one of the three was bad...the gay dancer was fun and taught me to color my hair. The girl stayed in her room most of the time (remarkable because it was the size of a walk-in closet). But the other dancer was a nightmare. He was a crack user, which led to incredible mood swings. The rest of the roommates and I decided it was best to keep all the kitchen knives locked in the closet of my bedroom. Just seemed prudent. He stuck me with rent and a $700 phone bill (his boyfriend was calling him collect from Puerto Rico).

My future roommate?
So, when people ask, "why do you live with your parents?" The answer is easy. With the way my luck was running - my next roommate was going to be a serial killer that ate all my pop tarts.

Sharing the house is great! I let them use the laundry room and kitchen as much as they want. I am rewarded with clean clothes and good food. Win, win. Since we are all busy people, projects around the house sometimes get delayed. And delayed. And forgotten. That is the case with the new kitchen floor. The flooring was a gift from my sister Denise's in-laws (sister in-law, I think...) and was delivered to our house in 2012. It lived on the screen porch for awhile...then got moved to a shed...and gradually moved out of our consciousness. Then Mom and Dad left for their annual week in Hollywood, Florida...and I had a bright idea!

Thanks to a very talented subcontractor that I have worked with in my job, the floor was laid in one Saturday morning (starting at 7:30am...ouch!) for a very reasonable amount of money. Jerry said when he finished, "now the real work starts...moving it all back in!" Thanks to my patient siblings and their hard work - not only did we move the stuff back in - we increased the efficiency of the kitchen and got rid of some clutter at the same time!


I don't have any before pictures. Just picture stuff on the countertops (decrease the useful space to about 8 inches along the front) and a floor of earth-tone speckles on a field of off-white (maybe it was whiter when it was installed, many years ago...). The "new" kitchen is quite wonderful. And although it couldn't be classified as a "remodel" of a kitchen, it truly is transformed.


And Mom has already baked me cupcakes and cookies.

My Spice Tower!
Time and money well spent!







Sunday, January 26

Live Epically

I felt the cold coming on about Tuesday. I was in denial until Wednesday. I spent the day unconscious on Thursday. Worked on Friday, but accomplished less that I should have...

When I get a cold (or pretty much any sickness, but that is my most common ailment) I feel like the world is dialed down. Everything seems subdued. Or maybe I just care less... But food doesn't taste as intense, sounds seem muffled, I can see okay...but it all seems surreal and dulled. I think that is all pretty normal.

While I was in the midst of this 75% reality - I saw this meme on Facebook from George Takei: The picture made me chuckle. I can imagine if I was a kid passenger in a passing vehicle that I would LOVE seeing Buzz and Woody in a "real life" adventure. My imagination would run wild playing out the scenario that placed them on that bumper...and what would happen next.

Mr. Takei just had two words to say about the picture: Live Epically.

Wow.

What a great idea.

And I'm not sure if it had special appeal to me because I was in the midst of living in a dulled state of mind, but it really spoke to me. I know that when I'm sick or overwhelmed or depressed, I am about as far from living epically as you can get. I'm just surviving. I'm tolerating the daily activities that take me from waking to sleeping...

Imagine not just surviving - but making it EPIC!

It doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be running from bad guys and leaping onto moving vehicles to escape (like Buzz and Woody). It DOES mean that you embrace the who, what and where you are at any given moment. Eating lunch? Savor it. Having a conversation? Be intent on being part of that conversation - listening, responding, contributing and learning. Don't be figuring out where you need to be next or who you'd rather be chatting up.

Break out of the rut - embrace the place that you are. Having a flat tire? Look around and see the piece of the world that you would usually just drive past at 55. In a boring meeting? Focus on the people around you and the gifts that they bring to the group - you'll probably find a diverse gathering each making a contribution that only they can make. Folding clothes? Spend a minute with your head buried in the warm and softly scented pile of laundry and be glad that you didn't have to beat them on rocks.



I find that I don't live epically very often. But I'm going to try to do it more.

Even when battling Sleestak - you can stop and watch the three moons rise.

Friday, January 17

Escaping to Another Place

About a week ago I was feeling somewhat stressed and decided to relax by watching something light and fluffy. In the past couple of weeks I had watched the first episode of MacGyver but found myself underwhelmed. What had enchanted me years ago - the resourceful and highly intelligent adventurer - seemed like a smarmy egomaniac. I only watched the first episode and it probably gets better...but that wasn't what I was in the mood for.

I had also recently watched the first episode of Tabitha - which was a Bewitched spin-off. Cute young magical Tabitha all grown up and working as a TV producer. But it not only seemed dated (think WKRP in Cincinnati) and syrupy sweet...I was horrified to see how blatant the sexual harassment from her boss was! It made me cringe whenever they were on screen together.

So - I was pondering what to watch. I wanted something "classic" (read: old) and nothing that would be too heavy or violent. Finally my mind wandered to H.R. Pufnstuf. My Google search brought up a brief interview with Sid and Marty Krofft, the creators of the series. In the interview they denied being on drugs while creating the show (concept, writing, filming, etc...they claim that they were not under the influence). Once that interview was done, YouTube suggested several more similar interviews where Sid and Marty Krofft discussed some of their other creations: The Bugaloos, Sigmund and the Sea Monster, The Brady Bunch Hour and much more.

Then I saw it. The Land of the Lost. And I was transported back to Saturday mornings...

It was like pulling on that pair of sneakers that fits just right...they may look like hell, but the comfort level is off the charts. Yes, the opening sequence - which is a tremendous 1 minute and 8 seconds - looks like it was shot in somebody's bathtub. Yes, the stop motion of the dinosaurs is so jerky in the first episodes...heck, it doesn't really get better...you feel bad for the dinos. And yes, the green screen effects are downright pathetic. But I was surprised to find that the stories and performances still held up after all these years.

The weakest link in acting is the youngest of the Marshall family - Holly. Kathy Coleman pretty much has only this series in her listing on the Internet Movie Database. Looks like she did a guest spot on Adam 12. And the first year of the series she gets pretty whiny...but if you were suddenly snatched from your middle class life and dumped in a world that is a cross between Jurassic Park and the original Star Trek...you'd probably be pretty whiny too. Holly reminds me of me at that age - I feel sure that I would have made friends with the monkey-people (Pakuni) and the dinosaurs who didn't want to eat me.

The Dad, forest ranger Rick Marshall, portrayed by Spencer Milligan doesn't have many more credits in his IMDB list. Looks like he was on General Hospital for a bit, the movie Sleeper and a long string of guest spots on various shows. But his performance is very enjoyable. In fact, the series is largely produced like a stage performance...there are long scenes without a lot of cuts between camera angles which allows the scene to unfold like a play. I love the way that Rick Marshall is portrayed as a really good Dad (with lots of homespun advice to his kids) who enjoys the adventure of the great outdoors (he and his kids spend a lot of time methodically mapping out this strange world they find themselves in) but has his flaws. Sometimes he gets short tempered, but he is more likely to yell at a dinosaur than his kids...until their bickering makes him say "Hey! That's enough."

Will Marshall, played by the stunning Wesley Eure (credited in the opening sequence as "Wesley" - maybe he was trying to be like "Cher" or "Sting"), was the most awesome brother ever. He pulled his weight with chores around the cave, was smart enough to save their hides a few times, and even though he picked on Holly, in the end...you knew he loved her. Strangely, when they went over the waterfall and through the time doorway - it seems that all the buttons on his shirts fell off. His shirt is always open to his navel. Not that I'm complaining - just an observation.

The show ranges from campy fun - getting to know the Pakuni, dealing with who does chores like cooking, and running from dinosaurs; to other-worldly encounters with beings from other times and other worlds, like the Zarn who just wants to repair his spaceship and escape. The most memorable creatures that the Marshalls have to survive are the Sleestack. And they are just as terrifying as I remember them being in my childhood. The lizard-people live in caves and try many times to capture the Marshalls to feed to their god who lives in a pit full of smoke/fog. They have great bulbous eyes which helps them see in the caves but keeps them from being able to tolerate the light. They go into hibernation during cold periods - but invariably awake and attack as soon as the Marshalls go into their caves searching for something...

There is a Sleestack in the Land of the Lost that is from another time period - when the race has evolved into deep thinkers. Enik wants to return to his own time. Evolution has not increased his sense of compassion or empathy though...when Holly and Will ask for his help when their Dad is captured, Enik has to be convinced to give them any assistance at all - and the help that he gives is minimal. The further along in the series you watch, the bigger jerk Enik becomes.

I've watched all of Season 1 and 2 - and last night started watching Season 3. I know I'll finish all of the episodes, but Season 3 is a tremendous letdown. Apparently Spencer Milligan couldn't come to an agreement on salary because in the opening scenes of the new season he either dies or goes home - you're never really sure. Almost immediately, Holly and Will's uncle Jack arrives. It isn't that Ron Harper does a bad job...you really DO want to like Uncle Jack. But the whole series is lacking...suddenly the Pakuni Cha-Ka is able to speak broken English, the plots seem to swing wildly between the pedantic happenings around their home base to incredibly far-fetched Sleestack stories. It's like they suddenly wanted to out-Star Trek the original Star Trek series. Maybe Season 3 will get better. The reviews of the series don't give me much hope...but I'm going to enjoy the rest of the ride.

Sometime...when you need to escape the perils of your day-to-day life...pull up the series on YouTube (all 43 episodes are out there) and remember that no matter how bad your day is - at least you didn't have to battle Sleestacks.

Friday, January 10

They'll Know

They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love.

Or they'll know about our Christ by the way we show love. To the world. To each other.

This is what I have been pondering...

On February 16, I will have the privilege of bringing the morning message to the congregation of Centenary United Methodist Church. It is not something I take lightly. Since the invitation was offered, I have been trying to decide what God wants me to convey.

I have reviewed the Revised Common Lectionary. It is the connected worship of many denominations. A great many pastors look to those four weekly scriptures to determine their message topic for the week. Of course, there are also a great many who choose other topics to "preach on."

If you think about it though...if even 1% of the Christian congregations in the world preach on the same set of scriptures...that is 37,000 congregations all focusing on a particular aspect of our relationship with God and with each other. That can be very powerful, especially if we are intentional in the way we communicate with God - and with each other.

They'll know we are Christians by our love.

I noticed at choir practice last night that the choir would be singing that song as the anthem. And tonight, the first pieces clicked. I know that my "sermon" (not sure if I'm allowed to call it a sermon...Methodists are mighty particular about these things. Let's call it a message.) I know what the topic will be.

They'll know we are Christians by our love.

They.
Them.
The World...
Out there - those people who we were instructed to reach out to? Remember those guys? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...they are hurting. They need us to get our act together. We have got to make sure that they'll know we are Christians by the love we put out there to them. At least a kind word to the people you encounter...

Love to them.

And from another angle - they are going to know what kind of Christians we are...by the love we show to each other. In the church. We have got to get our act together. We can't have visitors and seekers come in to find our congregations not showing love to each other. Because they'll know - they'll see how much they can trust our "love" if we can't even show it to each other.

Mahatma Ghandi said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Let's make sure we love and support each other.

And then for the final point (probably...you know me...don't pin me down.) - they will know we are christian by our love, the love we show to our Heavenly Father. (however you connect to him) (and yes, I know I'll get push back on that...) (and I still think it needs to be said - Christ met people where. they. were. Seriously.) Are we serious about wanting a relationship with him?

It is still in the development stage. I'll continue to listen and study and pray and listen some more. But I think that I know what my sermon title is. "They'll know."

And the choir had better bring it - pull out all the stops...

You were my inspiration.

(no pictures tonight kids...just focus on the words.)

Tuesday, January 7

I'm in Jeopardy...of feeling stupid...

Just signed up for the Jeopardy online test. I'll take it Thursday evening at 10pm local time. I have taken the test several times in the past. It generally sends me to bed sucking my thumb feeling like the stupidest human on Earth. And I KNOW that I'm smarter than a lot of people...even a lot of the people who I've seen appear on Jeopardy.

The test is not multiple choice - you actually have to type in your answers in the allotted time (although you don't have to phrase in the form of a question). It is 50 questions from various topics. Some of them I will do well with - others I will go with my favorite "I don't know" answer...Alex Trebek. "The third czar of Russia." "Who is Alex Trebek?" "He invented shaving cream." "Who is Alex Trebek?" Personally, I don't know why more contestants don't throw that
                                                          out there instead of "I don't know."

You only have 15 seconds to answer. I am one of those people who can get brain-lock. Throw a question at me and most times you get an answer. It is what I believe to be the correct answer and is offered as definitive truth. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" "87" But then there will be a question that I KNOW the answer to, but can't pull it out of my frozen head. "What is your brother's name?" "umm....I know this one...Susan? - no, brother....I got this...." BUZZZZZ. Gordon! His name is Gordon! Like the fishsticks!!

So, hoping for no brain-lock and no categories like "Russian Royalty" or "Nobel Prize Winners" (unless it happens to be Richard Feynman. I'm reading his "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" book for the third or fourth time. I love Richard Feynman.) Everyone is encouraged to pray for categories that include Potent Potables (because I love liquor), Foods of All Nations (because I love multi-cultural food), Spices (alright, I know I'm getting silly), Old Testament People, the 12 Disciples, the Bill of Rights and maybe State Capitals.

Reading a couple old posts that reference Jeopardy - I remembered posing the question "What would your Jeopardy moment be?" In other words, when Alex gives you that minute to share something memorable - what would it be? I have a few possibilities - if I make the show, I'll let you guys vote on the best one.

- "I once inadvertently hung myself from a tree." After all, it is an impressive scar and very few people would have that story. It turns out it is just something stupid that I did to myself, I was swinging on a rope to jump in the river and I got caught in the rope. But it usually makes people's eyebrows raise. And little old ladies like to tell me how lucky I was that I didn't pull my whole arm off (because their uncle/cousin/neighbor had their arm ripped off in some horrific way).



- "I write a blog called The Beaten Hamster." That never fails to get a raised eyebrow. And then people want to know what I have against hamsters. Hey, as long as they stay on their side of the room, I have no reason to beat them. Just kidding. Love hamsters. Had a hamster as a kid. Recently held the guinea pig of my friend Jennifer. It squeaks and chirps and is all kinds of cute. I would not beat it - unless it pooped in my hand. Because that is just nasty.

- "I once found a beer in a frozen lake in Western Canada. I believe that it is proof that God loves us." That really did happen. I was with a group of three or four friends and they were showing me the Spray Lakes near Canmore in Alberta. We were sliding around on the ice and we saw this spot - with very little effort we removed the full and sealed beer from the ice. We passed it around our small group. It was cold and delicious and on a perfect sunny day in the middle of nowhere - it did indeed seem that God smiled down.

There are more. Let's see how the online test goes. Still time to register - join me!!