Escaping to Another Place

About a week ago I was feeling somewhat stressed and decided to relax by watching something light and fluffy. In the past couple of weeks I had watched the first episode of MacGyver but found myself underwhelmed. What had enchanted me years ago - the resourceful and highly intelligent adventurer - seemed like a smarmy egomaniac. I only watched the first episode and it probably gets better...but that wasn't what I was in the mood for.

I had also recently watched the first episode of Tabitha - which was a Bewitched spin-off. Cute young magical Tabitha all grown up and working as a TV producer. But it not only seemed dated (think WKRP in Cincinnati) and syrupy sweet...I was horrified to see how blatant the sexual harassment from her boss was! It made me cringe whenever they were on screen together.

So - I was pondering what to watch. I wanted something "classic" (read: old) and nothing that would be too heavy or violent. Finally my mind wandered to H.R. Pufnstuf. My Google search brought up a brief interview with Sid and Marty Krofft, the creators of the series. In the interview they denied being on drugs while creating the show (concept, writing, filming, etc...they claim that they were not under the influence). Once that interview was done, YouTube suggested several more similar interviews where Sid and Marty Krofft discussed some of their other creations: The Bugaloos, Sigmund and the Sea Monster, The Brady Bunch Hour and much more.

Then I saw it. The Land of the Lost. And I was transported back to Saturday mornings...

It was like pulling on that pair of sneakers that fits just right...they may look like hell, but the comfort level is off the charts. Yes, the opening sequence - which is a tremendous 1 minute and 8 seconds - looks like it was shot in somebody's bathtub. Yes, the stop motion of the dinosaurs is so jerky in the first episodes...heck, it doesn't really get better...you feel bad for the dinos. And yes, the green screen effects are downright pathetic. But I was surprised to find that the stories and performances still held up after all these years.

The weakest link in acting is the youngest of the Marshall family - Holly. Kathy Coleman pretty much has only this series in her listing on the Internet Movie Database. Looks like she did a guest spot on Adam 12. And the first year of the series she gets pretty whiny...but if you were suddenly snatched from your middle class life and dumped in a world that is a cross between Jurassic Park and the original Star Trek...you'd probably be pretty whiny too. Holly reminds me of me at that age - I feel sure that I would have made friends with the monkey-people (Pakuni) and the dinosaurs who didn't want to eat me.

The Dad, forest ranger Rick Marshall, portrayed by Spencer Milligan doesn't have many more credits in his IMDB list. Looks like he was on General Hospital for a bit, the movie Sleeper and a long string of guest spots on various shows. But his performance is very enjoyable. In fact, the series is largely produced like a stage performance...there are long scenes without a lot of cuts between camera angles which allows the scene to unfold like a play. I love the way that Rick Marshall is portrayed as a really good Dad (with lots of homespun advice to his kids) who enjoys the adventure of the great outdoors (he and his kids spend a lot of time methodically mapping out this strange world they find themselves in) but has his flaws. Sometimes he gets short tempered, but he is more likely to yell at a dinosaur than his kids...until their bickering makes him say "Hey! That's enough."

Will Marshall, played by the stunning Wesley Eure (credited in the opening sequence as "Wesley" - maybe he was trying to be like "Cher" or "Sting"), was the most awesome brother ever. He pulled his weight with chores around the cave, was smart enough to save their hides a few times, and even though he picked on Holly, in the end...you knew he loved her. Strangely, when they went over the waterfall and through the time doorway - it seems that all the buttons on his shirts fell off. His shirt is always open to his navel. Not that I'm complaining - just an observation.

The show ranges from campy fun - getting to know the Pakuni, dealing with who does chores like cooking, and running from dinosaurs; to other-worldly encounters with beings from other times and other worlds, like the Zarn who just wants to repair his spaceship and escape. The most memorable creatures that the Marshalls have to survive are the Sleestack. And they are just as terrifying as I remember them being in my childhood. The lizard-people live in caves and try many times to capture the Marshalls to feed to their god who lives in a pit full of smoke/fog. They have great bulbous eyes which helps them see in the caves but keeps them from being able to tolerate the light. They go into hibernation during cold periods - but invariably awake and attack as soon as the Marshalls go into their caves searching for something...

There is a Sleestack in the Land of the Lost that is from another time period - when the race has evolved into deep thinkers. Enik wants to return to his own time. Evolution has not increased his sense of compassion or empathy though...when Holly and Will ask for his help when their Dad is captured, Enik has to be convinced to give them any assistance at all - and the help that he gives is minimal. The further along in the series you watch, the bigger jerk Enik becomes.

I've watched all of Season 1 and 2 - and last night started watching Season 3. I know I'll finish all of the episodes, but Season 3 is a tremendous letdown. Apparently Spencer Milligan couldn't come to an agreement on salary because in the opening scenes of the new season he either dies or goes home - you're never really sure. Almost immediately, Holly and Will's uncle Jack arrives. It isn't that Ron Harper does a bad job...you really DO want to like Uncle Jack. But the whole series is lacking...suddenly the Pakuni Cha-Ka is able to speak broken English, the plots seem to swing wildly between the pedantic happenings around their home base to incredibly far-fetched Sleestack stories. It's like they suddenly wanted to out-Star Trek the original Star Trek series. Maybe Season 3 will get better. The reviews of the series don't give me much hope...but I'm going to enjoy the rest of the ride.

Sometime...when you need to escape the perils of your day-to-day life...pull up the series on YouTube (all 43 episodes are out there) and remember that no matter how bad your day is - at least you didn't have to battle Sleestacks.

They'll Know

They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love.

Or they'll know about our Christ by the way we show love. To the world. To each other.

This is what I have been pondering...

On February 16, I will have the privilege of bringing the morning message to the congregation of Centenary United Methodist Church. It is not something I take lightly. Since the invitation was offered, I have been trying to decide what God wants me to convey.

I have reviewed the Revised Common Lectionary. It is the connected worship of many denominations. A great many pastors look to those four weekly scriptures to determine their message topic for the week. Of course, there are also a great many who choose other topics to "preach on."

If you think about it though...if even 1% of the Christian congregations in the world preach on the same set of scriptures...that is 37,000 congregations all focusing on a particular aspect of our relationship with God and with each other. That can be very powerful, especially if we are intentional in the way we communicate with God - and with each other.

They'll know we are Christians by our love.

I noticed at choir practice last night that the choir would be singing that song as the anthem. And tonight, the first pieces clicked. I know that my "sermon" (not sure if I'm allowed to call it a sermon...Methodists are mighty particular about these things. Let's call it a message.) I know what the topic will be.

They'll know we are Christians by our love.

They.
Them.
The World...
Out there - those people who we were instructed to reach out to? Remember those guys? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...they are hurting. They need us to get our act together. We have got to make sure that they'll know we are Christians by the love we put out there to them. At least a kind word to the people you encounter...

Love to them.

And from another angle - they are going to know what kind of Christians we are...by the love we show to each other. In the church. We have got to get our act together. We can't have visitors and seekers come in to find our congregations not showing love to each other. Because they'll know - they'll see how much they can trust our "love" if we can't even show it to each other.

Mahatma Ghandi said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Let's make sure we love and support each other.

And then for the final point (probably...you know me...don't pin me down.) - they will know we are christian by our love, the love we show to our Heavenly Father. (however you connect to him) (and yes, I know I'll get push back on that...) (and I still think it needs to be said - Christ met people where. they. were. Seriously.) Are we serious about wanting a relationship with him?

It is still in the development stage. I'll continue to listen and study and pray and listen some more. But I think that I know what my sermon title is. "They'll know."

And the choir had better bring it - pull out all the stops...

You were my inspiration.

(no pictures tonight kids...just focus on the words.)

I'm in Jeopardy...of feeling stupid...

Just signed up for the Jeopardy online test. I'll take it Thursday evening at 10pm local time. I have taken the test several times in the past. It generally sends me to bed sucking my thumb feeling like the stupidest human on Earth. And I KNOW that I'm smarter than a lot of people...even a lot of the people who I've seen appear on Jeopardy.

The test is not multiple choice - you actually have to type in your answers in the allotted time (although you don't have to phrase in the form of a question). It is 50 questions from various topics. Some of them I will do well with - others I will go with my favorite "I don't know" answer...Alex Trebek. "The third czar of Russia." "Who is Alex Trebek?" "He invented shaving cream." "Who is Alex Trebek?" Personally, I don't know why more contestants don't throw that
                                                          out there instead of "I don't know."

You only have 15 seconds to answer. I am one of those people who can get brain-lock. Throw a question at me and most times you get an answer. It is what I believe to be the correct answer and is offered as definitive truth. "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" "87" But then there will be a question that I KNOW the answer to, but can't pull it out of my frozen head. "What is your brother's name?" "umm....I know this one...Susan? - no, brother....I got this...." BUZZZZZ. Gordon! His name is Gordon! Like the fishsticks!!

So, hoping for no brain-lock and no categories like "Russian Royalty" or "Nobel Prize Winners" (unless it happens to be Richard Feynman. I'm reading his "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" book for the third or fourth time. I love Richard Feynman.) Everyone is encouraged to pray for categories that include Potent Potables (because I love liquor), Foods of All Nations (because I love multi-cultural food), Spices (alright, I know I'm getting silly), Old Testament People, the 12 Disciples, the Bill of Rights and maybe State Capitals.

Reading a couple old posts that reference Jeopardy - I remembered posing the question "What would your Jeopardy moment be?" In other words, when Alex gives you that minute to share something memorable - what would it be? I have a few possibilities - if I make the show, I'll let you guys vote on the best one.

- "I once inadvertently hung myself from a tree." After all, it is an impressive scar and very few people would have that story. It turns out it is just something stupid that I did to myself, I was swinging on a rope to jump in the river and I got caught in the rope. But it usually makes people's eyebrows raise. And little old ladies like to tell me how lucky I was that I didn't pull my whole arm off (because their uncle/cousin/neighbor had their arm ripped off in some horrific way).



- "I write a blog called The Beaten Hamster." That never fails to get a raised eyebrow. And then people want to know what I have against hamsters. Hey, as long as they stay on their side of the room, I have no reason to beat them. Just kidding. Love hamsters. Had a hamster as a kid. Recently held the guinea pig of my friend Jennifer. It squeaks and chirps and is all kinds of cute. I would not beat it - unless it pooped in my hand. Because that is just nasty.

- "I once found a beer in a frozen lake in Western Canada. I believe that it is proof that God loves us." That really did happen. I was with a group of three or four friends and they were showing me the Spray Lakes near Canmore in Alberta. We were sliding around on the ice and we saw this spot - with very little effort we removed the full and sealed beer from the ice. We passed it around our small group. It was cold and delicious and on a perfect sunny day in the middle of nowhere - it did indeed seem that God smiled down.

There are more. Let's see how the online test goes. Still time to register - join me!!

A Post on a Post

Recently I discovered that I had not been posting often enough. About 4 months worth of not posting. That discovery was stunning to me (read about it here). So, in the interest of continuing to post on a regular basis - here is a new post. One of my many posts about nothing.

Hmm...what to write...what to write...

Meatballs

Architecture

Large family gatherings

Mouse

Squirrels

Stew

Okay...the stream of consciousness isn't very conscious tonight. Must be because of this headache. I shall go to the random topic generator for a random topic. BRB (that's "Be Right Back" if you didn't know)

First question: What is your morning routine? Well, I wake up about 2 hours early, do 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups, run for 5 miles, read a chapter in the Old Testament and the New Testament, journal and clean my room. Kidding!! I roll out of bed about 20 minutes before I should be at work, watch the end of an old Charmed or Fresh Prince episode, pull back my hair and get dressed. Not so much a routine as the least amount of effort required to exit the house without being arrested for indecent exposure. Next question!

What is your biggest pet peeve? Oh...I have SO many to choose from...improper use of apostrophes, people must think that turn signals and headlights burn more fuel, graffiti (destruction of property in any form really...), non-recyclers, hypocrites...injustice, inhumanity, nSync? My biggest pet peeve? Wastefulness. I think a lot of my little pet peeves all add up to the big one...wastefulness. I don't like it when people waste food or landfill space or things. I really hate it when people waste time - that doesn't mean that people shouldn't have time to just relax with their favorite time waster (TV, Solitaire, Candy Crush, People magazine, etc.). But just burning other people's time with useless nonsense like gossip and whining or making people wait while they check their phone for one more email, text or snapchat... That is a big pet peeve. It always makes me shake my head (SMH) when I see a table of people in a restaurant checking their phones instead of being with the people they are actually with. I am not immune to the temptation to check my phone - my family will be happy to inform you that I am imperfect in that regard! Some times it is because I'm waiting for something important that is work-related. But a lot of the time it is just a bad habit. I'll try to do a lot better with that. Next question!

Where do you currently live? ummm....inappropriate... I've been stalked once in my life and I'm not looking to be stalked again. And most of you know where I live anyway. To be very un-specific: I live in Central Virginia where the snow always turns to ice and the humidity in the summer makes it hard to breathe. My house is not perfect, but it is cozy and I like my housemates. My cat is refusing to kill the mouse that is sharing the basement with us - but if it stays out of sight, I will ignore it. I wish my hot tub wasn't broken (again) but I'm content. One more question!

Describe your perfect day. I think that the line from Miss Congeniality was "April 25. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket." I've actually had a lot of perfect days. Images pass through my mind...relaxing on a couch in the shadow of the Canadian Rockies...paddling down the James River one April (until somebody tipped the canoe over...)...hiking and laughing with a great friend in the Blue Ridge Mountains...having a wonderful lunch that lasted about 5 hours....driving on the north beaches of the Outer Banks...sitting in a natural hot spring by a beautiful river in British Columbia. When I'm in the midst of one of these experiences I try to be completely immersed in the moment - I try to commit the details to memory. I don't want to mundane part of the day to overtake the wonderful part. And generally it works - my recollections start with the beautiful instead of the harsher reality. So I forget that after relaxing on the couch, I cooked dinner...that we had to haul the canoe up a hill and over a railroad track...that the sun set before we got back to the car and had to crawl part of the time to find the trail...that Dan was almost late for work that evening...that we spent part of the next day (unsuccessfully) searching for the license plate that got knocked off up on the north beaches...or that I was mostly thawing out in the hot spring because the night before I nearly froze to death sleeping on the hard floor of the van (or that we had TWO flat tires on the way home). All that fades away and I can still feel the sun on my face and my hand in a stronger one that pulled me up the hill...lots of days can be perfect, if you let them...

Hamster beaten...

I think I smell meatballs.

New Year's Eve Eve

first of all...is that gramatically correct? the night before New Year's Eve? Should it be Eve's Eve or Eve Eve's? No, that surely  isn't it. tonight...that is what I am saying. Tonight

l realized that I am very fortunate to have New Year's Eve off from work. Tomorrow I get to sleep in! And that is one of my favorite things to do!

For the last few years I have taken the day off so I can get ready for my annual gig bartending at the Renaissance Theatre's New Year's Eve Gala. Not that it really involves a lot of preparation... But I will need to slice lemons and stuff. And take a nap! That is a lot of smiling and being pleasant for me.

The show tomorrow night is "Elvis Has Left The Building" and I am sure it will be fantastic. I'm afraid I am not familiar with the show...but I know it will be funny! If you don't have plans for New Year's Eve _ I think there may be a few seats left! $40 gets you the show, snacks, soft drinks and champagne toast at midnight! And yours truly behind the cash bar. It is going to be a great night!

find out more here!

Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!

or

hamster, hamster, hamster!

Reflections on my Uncle Joe

I always adored my Uncle Joe. He was the kind of guy that would laugh with you, teach you to hoe the weeds around a tomato plant, climb an apple tree in the orchard, tell you stories about his travels and then show you how to tell if there was a thunderstorm approaching. I thought he knew everything about everything. I'm still pretty sure that he did.

Other people will recall Joe Reid the architect - he was a very accomplished architect. I remember times during his whirlwind tours of Washington D.C. when he would pass a building and casually say, "that's a building I worked on." I was too young to really appreciate his skill in that area.

Sometimes we would go to visit Uncle Joe, the beautiful Aunt Maria (who is from Greece and I always was in awe of her exotic accent - and mastery in the kitchen), and their sons Avo, Charlie and Robert. They were the cousins that everyone had a crush on, because they were not only gorgeous - but so kind and patient with their goofy little cousin. While we were there Uncle Joe would take us into the city to tour the Smithsonian museums, the Treasury, the Library of Congress, the Capitol, the National Cathedral, the Metro, the Mall, the underground tunnels that nobody else knew about...and it seemed like we did all that in one day. Uncle Joe did NOT let any moss grow on him. Or anybody traveling with him!

I think that is one of the reasons I was always so drawn to him - this kindred wandering spirit. I love to travel, but I didn't inherit Uncle Joe's chutzpah. When he was a young man, he decided he wanted to travel - so he signed on to a merchant marine ship as a cook. The thing was...he didn't actually know how to cook. He said he did, and I guess he figured it out as he went along. That takes some real nerve.



His time in the merchant marine gave him the opportunity to visit a lot of places. I dug out some of my grandmother's photo albums and found a few pictures of Joe as an adventuring young man. I love seeing him standing in front of the Sphinx and sitting atop a camel (he's there in the middle). But I think I like the picture of him sitting on the side of the boat. That faraway look in his eye...looking to the horizon...looking for a new adventure.

That spirit never left him. One of my favorite memories is from January 16, 1991. I was headed to see a friend in a dance production in Baltimore. But I got lost going through D.C. (Mom told me to take 95N but missed the part about going around by 395 or 495...whatever). I was supposed to be staying with my Uncle Louie (Mom's brother) outside Baltimore but when I called him for the third time from Glebe Road, in tears - he said he would call Joe to come rescue me. I was so glad to see that station wagon pull into the gas station parking lot. Joe - ever the hospitable host - said I must be hungry, why didn't we stop for a bite? We went to the Sizzler. He had never been and treated it like a culinary escapade! He had already eaten and chose to just get the dessert bar. He was delighted to find that he could eat as many desserts as he wanted!


That night he had the unpleasant task of telling me that my paternal grandfather had passed away. He was so sweet and understanding. It was just his way. Family meant everything to Uncle Joe. He loved his sons, adored his sisters and brothers, worshiped his wife...and we were all a part of his warm embrace. A lot of what I recall about him comes in bits and pieces...


He named all his dogs Oscar. One of them liked to save the kids who were "drowning" in the pool at my Aunt Twizzie's house. The only problem was that we weren't drowning until Oscar tried to save us. I think I still have a few scars on my back from being saved.

The night that he saved me from Glebe Road was the night that the Gulf War began. Since I had been driving for about 7 hours (including 3 hours of being lost), I had listened to NPR's coverage and we talked about that at our great epicurean adventure at The Sizzler. He thought I might want to keep up with what was going on, so he moved a TV into the guest room for me. The guest room that I wasn't even supposed to be in - since I was supposed to be at Uncle Louie's!

He showed me where the two cherry trees were in Aunt Twizzie's orchard. We ate cherries until I was sick. He didn't tell anybody why I was sick.

There were two huge evergreen trees in front of my great grandmother's house - he showed me that if you climbed inside on a rainy day, it was dry and quiet - just like a tent!

We visited he and Aunt Maria when both our families were at the Outer Banks at the same time about 10 years ago. He said that we really needed to have some ice cream and so he just went out and got some! It didn't matter how many times my parents or his wife said, "oh, no, Joe...we don't need that..." He saw the look in my eye when he mentioned it - or maybe he just really wanted some himself!

I'm going to miss him.

I hope he knows how much I learned from him.

I hope that I can put some of it into practice.

Don't shop, adopt

I may have decided what I want to be when I grow up. Well...one of several options. Food critic, wine taster, librarian...and my current desire? Animal rescue. Not throwing myself between clubs and baby seals (although I know that was a dream of mine when I was in 4th grade), I want to be like the people of the Lynchburg Humane Society and the Angels of Assisi in Roanoke.

You may recall (or you can click here to catch up) that I fostered a cat for AoA. Since that time, I've been a fan of their Facebook page. Daily appearances in my news feed show a staff and volunteer force that wants one thing: furever homes for every unwanted cat and dog (and rabbit, guinea pig, etc.). In addition to hopelessly adorable kittens - I am treated to pictures of cats and dogs whose humans have turned their backs on them.

Yes, I know that sometimes it is because of very reasonable circumstances. Perhaps an elderly person who must move to a home or facility that doesn't allow pets. Or maybe a family that has lost an income and can no longer afford to properly take care of their fuzzy friend. But there are also the stories that are much less understandable - abused and abandoned pets. No matter what the reason, a lot of the pictures are of dogs and cats that look confused and lost. They don't understand why they are in this scary place with cages and strange smells and not enough hands to pet them...no couch to snuggle on.

In the midst of this scene - which could be very depressing - is the spirit of the staff and volunteers. It is infectious. These rescuers have found a great use for social media - they share the stories of these animals with their "fans" and then those people share the stories with their friends. You see encouragement from other volunteers - and that all translates into hope for the next pet, and the next one, and the next one.

One of my favorite rescuers to read about it a foster named Willy. He has a goal of fostering 100 dogs. I know he's going to accomplish it. A foster takes in an animal so that the animal can #1-get a break from the stress of the shelter environment and #2-relearn trust in humans. One of his current fosters is a hound named Fallon. So scared in the shelter that he (she?) huddled in a back corner trembling. For a few days, the postings were of Fallon burrowing behind couch cushions where he felt safe. Last night's picture was Fallon sleeping as "liquid dog" - so relaxed he was sleeping in this awkward position. Content. Safe. Secure. Loved.

Willy has an assistant in his goal of getting dogs ready for their furever home - his buddy Olaf. Olaf is a goofy dog...and I believe is part pit bull. This "scary bully breed" dog is a marshmallow that not only allowed Fallon to use him as a pillow - but when he was awake and Fallon was still resting comfortably, he just stayed put so he didn't disturb his new friend. If that doesn't make you catch your breath with emotion...you are a robot.

Some of the Angels fans keep telling Willy that he will "foster fail" with Olaf - that Olaf isn't going anywhere. I think Willy just rolls his eyes and smiles a little. He is dedicated to finding the perfect family for each of his fosters. He knows that the right situation is out there for Olaf and he'll keep letting people know about this wonderful dog until the match is made. Because he knows that will open up a new space for his next foster - which opens a new space at Angels - maybe that opens a space at the "pound" - that keeps another pet from euthanasia.

I'm impressed by all the dedicated staff and volunteers that I've "met" through Facebook. And even though my one rude cat is all I can handle right now - I will keep spreading the word about the great work that they do.

Are you looking for a furry family member? I beg you to consider this: Don't shop, adopt.

Looking for a volunteer opportunity? Consider training as a dog walker...or go fill Kongs with peanut butter...or do some laundry at a shelter. Or maybe even open your heart and your home as a foster.

Too much for right now? Then at least consider dropping off some food, litter, treats, toys or peanut butter at your local shelter.

Olaf would want you to.