Why can't I get a decent Cuban sandwich in this town?

Ok - this is Thursday. Which is a long day. So this is going to be a short rant.

If you cannot make a Cuban sandwich - Do not put one on your menu.

I first had a Cuban sandwich at Zabars in New York City. It is a traditional sandwich that should have roasted pork, ham, swiss cheese, pickles and yellow mustard. Should be served on Cuban roll - but I'll give you just about any similar roll. It is Lynchburg, VA after all. I believe it should not have salami...but in Florida it is common. The sandwich is pressed - like a panini. You understand, I know this sandwich quite well. I adore this sandwich. I try to order it when I see it on a local menu.

I am universally disappointed.

At various restaurants around the town I have had:

- a cold sub roll Cuban faker - and the pork was bbq.

- one downtown that replaced the pickles with some red pepper relish. When I asked for pickles I got some spears. Didn't work well. Wasn't a Cuban.

- got one that had slaw on it. um. no.

- the one today succeeded in several areas - but failed in several. The bread was white bread (fail), the roast pork wasn't shredded but WAS pork loin (ok), the pickles were on the menu as sweet (um...NO) and arrived absent (fail), the mustard was dijon when it should be yellow (o...k.) and the ham was not salami (success). When the pickles arrived with our young lady, they were spears (c'mon!) but at least they brought the right salty bite when I put them on there anyway.

The press was a ridged panini press...which I'm not fond of (and isn't traditional)...but it was nicely toasted so I'll give the whole thing a C.

Sandwich makers of Lynchburg - I would like to issue a challenge. If you can make me a Cuban that is an A, I will pay you double for it.

Hamster rant complete.